


Healing: New Wounds and Old

by Enlightened_Introvert



Series: Earthlings [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon divergent as of Stevenbomb 6, Earth Sisters, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jasper Redemption/Healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-10-11 01:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enlightened_Introvert/pseuds/Enlightened_Introvert
Summary: After meeting the Famethyst at the human zoo, Amethyst is presented with a puzzle, who goes by the name of Jasper. Despite the hard feelings of before, Amethyst is determined to try to bridge the gap between her and her fellow Earthling.Steven can heal Jasper's corruption, but can Amethyst heal the damage that Homeworld has caused in the millennia leading up to this moment?





	1. Chapter 1

It was a simple question; the worst he could do was say no. However, that was what she was afraid of.

Amethyst paced her room, amid mountains of accumulated junk, running through the different ways this conversation would go. On the one hand, Steven was always game to flex his powers, and he made it clear that he had the potential to heal corruption with that whole thing with the Centipeetle. On the other hand, Jasper wasn’t the nicest or the easiest baddie they had come across and she knew that Steven was a little scared of her. But he would at least pity her, right, after seeing her get corrupted and hearing that stuff about Pink Diamond?

So, by that logic, he could either say…yes, no, or maybe ( _well no shit,_ Amethyst thought ruefully), and from her experience, ‘maybe’ almost always meant ‘no’.

“Ughhhh…” Amethyst groaned, flopping onto a pile of pillows, “is this how Garnet feels?” She shimmed into the heap, allowing the pillows to cave in around her, burying her inside. Small spaces always made her feel less terrible.

 _I wonder if Jasper feels like this, too,_ Amethyst thought, adding to her growing list of things to ask her fellow earthling sister, _she wouldn’t admit it, though. Heck, even I would deny it!_

For some reason, Amethyst couldn't help but smile at the thought of a gem three times her size cramming herself into a tiny space just to feel better. Her mind then drifted to the image of Jasper filling up that entire space in her hole in the Beta Kindergarten, and Amethyst can't help but be infinitely impressed by the sheer size of this gem. Part of her felt extremely intimidated by the idea, while another part of her wanted to tease jasper about the shape of her exit hole. With a little chuckle, she took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, letting the tension fall from her shoulders. 

Amethyst finally decided that Steven was a good kid, with a good head on his shoulders. Even if he wasn’t excited to help Jasper, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to get closer to healing corruption in the other gems. And of course he would feel sorry for Jasper, after witnessing her corruption first-hand. If he could take to a little green asshole like Peridot (meant in the fondest sense possible), then there was no reason why he couldn't feel the same about this big orange one. That ‘maybe’ was looking more like a ‘yes,’ but that could be wishful thinking. She wouldn’t know until she toughened up and asked him.

With a sigh, she hauled herself from the pile and meandered back the way she came, glancing into each of the puddles she passed before approaching the one she was looking for. She sat on the ground beside it and grabbed a fistful of hair, holding it back as she peered at her reflection for a second before plunging her head into its still surface. Cautiously, she peeped into the Burning Room beyond and scanned for Garnet. Thankfully, she was nowhere to be seen.

Sticking her entire head into the room, she looked around at the bubbles around her until she found the one she was looking for: a small, triangular gem floating in a lavender bubble. She stared at the gem for a moment, wishing that she could take it with her, but not wanting to risk being discovered by Garnet. She wasn't sure how much she paid attention to the gems in the Burning Room, but Amethyst had a feeling Garnet would notice if Jasper's gem was missing.

"I'm gonna try my best, sis," she whispered instead, smiling unnecessarily at the unconscious gem.

* * *

 

“Hey, Steven?” Amethyst called from the temple door.

"Yeah?" She heard him call.

Walking into the room, she saw that he was playing video games in the loft, finally blowing off some steam after the craziness of recent events. She felt bad for throwing another problem to solve onto his shoulders, especially with the turmoil he had been going through with his dad being abducted, learning about Pink Diamond, and figuring out stuff about Rose. Mustering up her resolve, she climbed up to his room; it was now or never.

“Dude, I have something complicated to ask you.”

Steven paused the game and looked up at her, curiosity written across his face. It was no or never.

“Alrighty, no beating around the bush. How would you feel about healing Jasper?” She asked in a rush.

Steven looked stunned for a moment, and Amethyst was beginning to think that _maybe_ she was a bit too blunt in her request.

“Wha-?” He asked incredulously. “Why?”

Putting the controller down, he stood and sat on the edge of the bed and patted the space beside him. With a sigh, Amethyst plopped down beside him and prepared the inevitable speech she wanted to avoid. After a second, he spoke up.

“I thought you would hate her, after what she did to you.”

The truth was, she wasn’t sure how to feel about Jasper. She didn’t like Jasper from the get-go, obviously; being the big, scary gem that was sent to destroy them by the gem Homeworld wasn’t much of a selling point. That wasn’t even mentioning the whole pity party she inspired a few months ago, with the things she had said about Amethyst. And of course, being poofed by Jasper wasn’t something that Amethyst could forgive very easily, especially when she was wearing the product of that, gimpy eye and all, but…

“How I feel about her doesn't determine whether she deserves to be uncorrupted,” Amethyst finally replied. “Besides, it’s more complicated than that. I’ve seen how those other Earth gems are treated, and they had each other! As far as we know, Jasper had no one. And they didn’t even know where Jasper was or if she was even alive, so who’s to say that Jasper isn't in the same boat? Can you imagine how it would feel, being convinced that you lost literally everything: your home, your family, your…your reason for living, I guess? It’s just…I kinda know what it feels like to hate yourself for things you can’t change.”

Steven suddenly looked very upset. “You hate yourself?!”

“Not lately, kiddo,” she sighed, patting his head comfortingly, “I just know what she’s going through. I know that I’ve done some sucky things before because of how I felt about myself, so what if she does the same? I just think that...if I can get the chance to make up for that and start to realize that 'hey! I actually don't suck as much as I thought I did!', then she should, too.”

To her relief, Steven began to nod in agreement. Things seemed to be working in her favor in this matter. Now, as long as Pearl and Garnet didn’t come in to ruin it…

“So, are you in?” Amethyst asked.

“Yeah. Yeah! I've been thinking a lot about her, too, along with Bismuth and...I wanna start doing something about them. Let’s do it! But first, let’s go tell Garnet and Pearl-“

“No! Steven,” Amethyst pulled him close, speaking to him in a conspiratorial whisper, “I may wanna try this, and you may be okay with it, but they might not. I don’t wanna ruin this before we’ve even started!”

“Amethyst.” Steven’s voice was firm, as if he were reprimanding her. “We aren’t going to keep secrets from then again. We’re a team, remember? We have to talk to each other!”

 _He sounds so much like Rose_ , Amethyst thought tiredly. He was right, of course, and in a perfect world, they would understand why she wanted to do this and trust that Steven knew what he was doing, or at least he knew how to err on the side of caution. He wasn’t going to jump right in, not with someone like Jasper, but they wouldn’t see it like that; they would treat him like a helpless baby like they always did.

“You’re right,” she said finally, “but you know they aren’t gonna be on board with this. If you aren’t completely with it either, I understand. You don’t have to. This is just a good opportunity for you, and-“

“I understand, Amethyst,” Steven replied with a smile. “You care about her, even after everything. I get it, I do. I want to help her, too.”


	2. Chapter 2

To Amethyst’s relief, Steven did seem genuinely excited to try this, not just for her sake.

Convincing Pearl and Garnet wasn’t as much of a feat as she had originally feared, but they were certainly reluctant. Garnet already knew what they wanted to do before they even mentioned it, whether it was by future vision or by intuition, and she seemed to have at least made peace with the idea already. Pearl had a feeling that they weren’t done with Jasper yet, but she had expected the one to wish to help her first would be Steven, and not the one who had suffered by her hand. Pearl, forever practical, eventually agreed that it would be good for honing Steven’s skills.

So there she was by Steven’s bed, bubble in hand, as he prepared to sleep. As he moved about the loft, she filled him in on the few facts she learned about Jasper from her sisters at the zoo.

“So, they don’t know what happened to her?” Steven asked, pulling the covers back. “Well, after the war, of course. They wouldn’t know about the whole corruption thing.”

“Yeah. Carnelian said that she just…ran off and they never saw her again. Obviously, she ended up with Yellow D, and everyone else got dumped at the space station by Blue D. I don't know why, though.”

“Peridot might know! We should ask her later.”

“Maybe,” Amethyst conceded, “I just don’t like second-hand info, ya know? It’s as bad as gossip. I’d rather hear it from Jasper. Besides, it would be a little weird chatting about Jasper with Lapis there.”

“Yeah,” Steven agreed. “Do you think Jasper's still obsessed with her?"

“After all this crap? Jasper’s a lot of things, but she ain’t stupid. Desperate, maybe, and a major drama queen, but not stupid. I sure hope so, anyway. Either way, _when_ you uncorrupt Jasper, we’re gonna keep them the heck away from each other.”

Steven nodded emphatically, before hopping into bed.

Taking a deep breath, Amethyst let the bubble float above his bed, bobbing gently against the ceiling. The gem within it shined dimly from the light in the room, motionless in its comatose state. They stared up at it for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, before Steven let out a loud yawn and snuggled into the pillow, pulling the cover over him.

“Nighty night, Ame,” Steven sighed, closing his eyes.

“’Night, bud,” Amethyst replied, patting his arm gently. She kept watch over him as he drifted to sleep, ready to wake him up at the first sign of trouble.

* * *

 

It was pitch black as Steven awoke within the dreamscape, reaching out for Jasper’s consciousness in the void. So far, there was nothing in sight.

He was beginning to lose hope when a shimmering veil appeared ahead of him, spreading as far as he could see on all side. Suddenly aware of how fast he was drifting towards it without stopping, Steven braced himself for the inevitable impact. As he passed through the veil--which he could only assume was Amethyst's bubble--a cold chill prickled through his entire body, the only sensation that he could feel in the vast emptiness.

The veil now left behind, the darkness began to solidify, taking shape around him, and he drifted downwards towards a flat ground. The surrounding formations appears as if they were cast in shadow. Despite their vague appearance, Steven could tell that he was in the middle of the Beta Kindergarten. His feet touched down on dusty, dry Earth, and he began to wander forward, towards the light. As he approached the source of the light, the kindergarten appeared to be bathed in shades of pink and orange; Steven figured it would be a beautiful sunset, if he could see the sun.

As he turned a corner, there she was, standing in the middle of the pass. With a stifled gasp, Steven jumped behind a nearby boulder and observed what she would do next. Although he was pretty sure she couldn’t actually hurt him in the dreamscape, he didn’t want to test it.

She turned to the side, talking animatedly to herself, complete with big arm movements. As her hair whipped away from her face, he caught a glimpse of a truly disarming, lovely smile. Steven didn’t think that it was even possible, yet there she was, grinning happily as she recounted what he could guess was some battle.

As she finished her story, there was a chorus of raucous laughter, and Steven could see that there were other gems surrounding her, packed into holes set at odd angles surrounding the huge, perfect exit hole that belonged to Jasper. Steven darted towards another boulder, closer to the action, so that he could get a better view.

As he settled into his new hiding spot, he saw one of the gems—the skinny Jasper from the zoo, he believed—swinging down from a narrow hole set higher in the sandstone wall, and landing nimbly in Jasper’s hole. As she stood to her full height inside the hole, Steven was surprised to see that her hair just brushed the ceiling, much taller than he had originally thought.

“What are you doing?” He heard Jasper chuckle, putting her hands on her hips.

“Just admiring your hole, Muscles,” Skinny replied smoothly, mimicking Jasper’s pose. She assumed a bored expression, pacing about the hole. "Hmmm, well it is certainly impressive"--she began scrutinizing the sides of the small cave--"and it seems that there was the appropriate amount of heat and pressure, judging from the smooth, glassy walls."

The small red gem--Carnelian was her name, Steven believed--blazed towards them, practically spin-dashing up Jasper's side. "Hey Skinny, are you making fun of Muscles again?!" She called, tiny, plum-colored flames still dancing off her hair.

"What, me? I'm admiring her!" She called back.

"With a very accurate Peridot impression," a Jasper with a vertical stripe over her mouth.

Skinny then stretched her arms out, her fingertips just barely brushing the shape of the flexing forearms of the figure. "Yes, _very impressive_ in size, composition, and shape."  Holding the pose for a moment, the lounging gems watching her lazily, she suddenly threw her arms up into a flexing pose, feet spread a shoulder-width apart and a serious look on her face. The entire group erupted into laughter, and soon even Skinny and Jasper were doubled over in mirth.

It felt as if he were intruding on something deeply personal, a happy memory he had no right to see. And yet…that smile!

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Jasper growled with a chuckle.

Before Skinny had a chance to react, Jasper tipped her over her other shoulder, opposite to Carnelian, and Skinny hung limply against her back, giggling uncontrollably. Carnelian clung for dear life to Jasper's hair to keep from tumbling off.

Thunder rolled ominously in the distance, and a cool wind whipped through the canyon, stirring up dust and grit. Steven looked about in every direction, standing on his toes to get a better look at the sky above, yet every view he had was the same placid sunset, and the gems were happily unaware of the explosive storm that was almost upon them. Over the rising din, he could still hear their laughter.

“Put me down, you big clod!” Skinny laughed, now pounding on Jasper’s back.

“What was that?” Jasper replied, “did you say ‘I’m sorry that I made fun of you because you’re perfect in every single way, so please let me down nicely?’”

“Hah, you wish!” Skinny cried, kicking off of Jasper’s stomach and flipping over her shoulder, landing on her feet behind her, “you’re a big dumb clod of Earth dirt like the rest of us.” Jasper put her in a headlock, ruffling her hair playfully.

The thunder was deafening at this point, and all banter was lost in the sound of pouring rain. Even as it felt as if the storm seemed to rage right above them, the sky was still placid, the gems still bantering. Steven glanced back, and saw thick, red flood waters creeping towards him. It lapped at his ankles, then his knees, before he willed himself to move elsewhere. As he waded out into the open, the scene had changed entirely.

The ground was beginning to fall away, revealing a flat-topped tower, with Jasper kneeling atop it. Steven hauled himself onto the platform, and found that the scene had melted into an overhead view of Beta, from the top of it's many curving walls. However, the bottom of the canyon where he had been previously was engulfed in total darkness. Pushing down the sense of dread, he pushed forward.

"Jasper?"

She flinched at the sound of his voice, curling in on herself and letting her hair fall over her hair.

"Jasper, please," he brought his palm close to his mouth, "let me help you. I've heard what you've been through."

"Go away," Jasper rasped, her voice oddly quiet.

"No, I'm not gonna leave you like this," Steven replied forcefully, moving closer. "please let me heal you!"

Jasper was now completely prostrate, her forehead pressed into the sandy surface. "Please leave me _alone_ ," she groaned, as a low growl sounded behind them.

The corrupted form of Jasper bound across the flat surface, looming over Jasper's form menacingly, and growling at Steven when he tried to approach. She circled around Jasper, pressing her face close to Jasper's in a show of dominance. Finally, the corruption placed her huge, flat paw against the back of Jasper's head, pressing her face into the hard ground. Jasper didn't even try to fight it, didn't even make a sound.

This was all too much.

Steven ran at the beast, tugging at its think fur desperately. "Stop it!"

The corruption reared back and swung her paw down, batting Steven away with ease. Steven went flying over the precipice, into the blackness below.

 

 

"Aaaah!" Steven yelled, shooting upright in bed. Amethyst, who had been dozing off on the wood floor, sprang up as well, running to his bedside.

"What happened? Did you see her? Was she okay? Are you okay? Did she hurt you?" She asked in a rush, an uncharacteristically frantic look on her face as she grasped his shoulders tightly. Steven shooed her hands away and waited for the adrenaline rush to settle down. Amethyst took that time to clamber down to the kitchen and grab him a glass of water. As she handed it to him, Steven suddenly realized that his mouth was dry, and he took a deep gulp of water before speaking.

"Well...I'm okay and she didn't hurt me; I don't think she could, when it was really just a dream. Jasper is...I don't know. She's corrupted, and she already has a lot of problems. But before things got bad, I think I saw a memory."

"Really?" Amethyst asked. "What was it like?"

"It was happy," Steven replied with a smile.

This wasn't going to be easy, but Steven felt that they could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Jasper fluff is what I live for, right next to Jasper angst. Also, sorry for the little wait there. Things have been coming up lately, with college and all, but I'll be updating more often.


	3. Chapter 3

“So…how did it go?” Pearl asked hesitantly the next morning as she washed the dishes.

“Well, we didn’t really make a breakthrough,” Amethyst replied, trying not to feel disappointed. It was the first attempt, after all, and it wasn’t a completely terrible experience.

“But I think I’m beginning to understand her a bit more, which could help!” Steven continued, ever optimistic. “Jasper’s corrupted form was guarding her, so I couldn’t get close enough to heal her, if healing corruption even works like that.” He looked thoughtful for a moment, then added, “I wonder if that’s how all corrupted gems’ minds are, with the uncorrupted form and the corrupted form existing like two people, or if Jasper’s mind is just like that because she was corrupted by another gem instead of…whatever did it in the first place.”

“Those are some good observations, Steven,” Garnet said, as she sat down next to him on the couch. “I think you’re on to something.”

“Perhaps it’s a literally manifestation of her corruption,” Pearl added, to general approval.

“He did great,” Amethyst agreed, ruffling Steven’s thick curls, “we’re gonna go talk to Peri to see what else we can learn about her.”

She figured that, of anyone, Lapis would know the most about Jasper, given that they literally shared a mind for months, but she really didn’t want to bother. Despite her mixed feelings about Lapis, Amethyst knew that she regretted the whole Malachite thing. It was unnecessary to remind her of it and make her feel bad about things she couldn’t change. Been there, done that.

Lapis was a last resort in finding answers, but hopefully Peridot was enough.

 

Amethyst and Steven stepped from the the dissipating light of the warp pad and walked towards the barn. As they approached, Peridot waved enthusiastically at them from her perch on the tractor, with Pumpkin sleeping peacefully in her lap. "Amethyst! Steven!"

Amethyst snorted. "What a dork." Then, within hearing distance, she drawled, "sup, Peridork?"

"Oh, I'm just taking a moment to enjoy the day-" she lifted Pumpkin up to her face "-with this wittle cutie."

 _Yup, such a dork_ , Amethyst thought fondly. Looking over at Steven, she could see his signature starry-eyes, which he used at any and every time he could. At that moment, it was the sight of Pumpkin licking every square inch of Peridot's face.

"That's cool," Amethyst replied. "Look, I don't mean to ruin the mood, but I need to talk to you about something. Is Lapis here?"

“Hmm? Oh no, she went for a little fly. She should be back in a couple hours. But I might be able to find her-“

“No!” Amethyst replied a little too forcefully. “No, I don’t want to talk to her. Wait! I mean…” _Ugh, spit it out, you coward!_

“We wanna ask you about Jasper,” Steven cut in, Amethyst’s saving grace.

Peridot looked a little shocked at first, letting Pumpkin squirm from her grasp in pursuit of a butterfly. Quickly composing herself, Peridot asked “what do you want to know?”

“We’re trying to figure out how to heal corruption,” she began, believing that Peridot would be more understanding of this than the ‘I want to help Jasper because I feel this weird sisterly connection to her’ explanation. “Since Jasper didn’t get the full brunt of the corruption like the other gems did, we figured that she would be a good place to start.”

“Oh…Are you sure you wanna talk about this?” Peridot asked, a look of concern on her face.

“I’m fine, P-dot, really,” Amethyst replied, offering her a smile, “just tell us what you know so we can start to sort this out.”

Thankfully, if there was one thing that Peridot liked to do, it was talk, especially when it demonstrated her knowledge of something. She hopped down from the tractor and began to pace in front of them as she mentally composed her thoughts. Muttering to herself, a look of irritation passed across her face as she visibly scrapped one idea after the next. Amethyst watched her, half amused and half curious.

“Well, I won’t claim that I knew her for very long,” Peridot began. “When I was assigned to this mission, I performed extensive research of the Earth, which included sifting through Homeworld’s expansive database of existing gems—citizens, I mean. They wouldn’t have you on record,” she laughed, nudging Amethyst with her elbow. Amethyst didn’t see the joke, but she managed a pretty convincing pity-laugh. "I was searching for gems who would have had some sort of connection to Earth who could aid me on my mission. Long-story-short, Jasper was the only one I found; I put in a request, which was approved, and she was reassigned to help me on my mission."

She picked up a scrap piece of metal and rotated it slowly around her head. "Jasper was, in a word...different. As a Kindergarten technician, I have come into contact with many different Quartz, both the Era 2 soldiers that were being produced and the Era 1 soldiers that were tasked to keep an eye on them, but I had never met a soldier like her, always broody and anti-social."

"Really?" Amethyst could describe Jasper in many ways, but 'broody' was't one of them, 'over-confident' and 'hotheaded' maybe, but not 'broody.'

"Well, perhaps I'm being unfair," Peridot replied a little guiltily. "She seemed...uninterested, unwilling to help with the mission, and getting any useful information out of her was like drilling through bedrock. But there was this one time, I asked her to describe Beta, and she just went on and on about the different holes there and the gems that came out of them and some of the battles they fought. I didn't see the appeal, but it was kinda cute seeing how passionate she was about it." Amethyst snickered at the idea of Jasper being cute. "Of course when I asked her about it on another occasion, she didn't want to talk." She sighed loudly, "I have no idea what happened to her! I offered to bring her on my first mission to Earth and she refused, but when I told her about you guys, she was obsessed!"

Amethyst understood that tactic all too well, pretending that you don't care as a way to avoid caring too much. And of course she would want to come back, with the opportunity to take down the Crystal Gems once and for all on the table. She didn't agree with it, but the pieces were beginning to fall into place.

"Anything else?"

"Just stuff you know.  You gems kept destroying my robonoids, I requested a ship to destroy you, we acquired Lapis as an informant," she listed these off like fond memories, "the ship crashed, Lapis and Jasper fused, then they unfused, then Jasper went crazy, then she corrupted."

"Huh, that about sums it up," Amethyst replied. "I just have one more question." She hoped she wouldn't regret it.

"Yes?"

"What do you think about Jasper, as a whole or before the Earth stuff?"

Peridot thought about it for a minute then, with an affirmative nod, "I always thought she was interesting, and deep down, I knew that she really did care a lot about Earth. If you do uncorrupt her, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing her again."

 _I guess that's as good as I'm gonna get_ , Amethyst thought, glad that at the very least Peridot didn't hate Jasper.

"Welp, that should be good, P-dot," Amethyst said, nudging her playfully.

"Glad I can help!" She replied, beaming. "Why don't you two stay and enjoy the day with us?"

 _What a dork_. "Sure thing!"

At the very least, it felt nice to quiet her mind for a moment and relax before the real fun began.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition is always more interesting in my head. Sorry, but this had to be done! I'll be posting again real soon! I think that I'll post a couple more chapters of this, getting to the actual uncorrupting part, then work on my other fic for a couple chapters. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Steven fell back on his bed, sighing loudly. Amethyst, despite her promises to watch over him, was snoring on the floor beside his bed.

After several more failed attempts of getting through to Jasper, it was beginning to feel like he would never do it. Every time he tried to get close to her, that beast was always there to stop him. He couldn’t force her to listen to him, or to at least call off her corruption (if she even could), and he still wasn’t sure what to do once he did get her attention: bop her on the nose with healing spit? Kiss her? Perhaps that would work, if he wanted to be punted into oblivion again.

Deciding that he should probably aim to talk to her first, he drifted off to sleep, gazing at the deceptively peaceful gem floating above him.

She had learned her lesson after the first visit, and he hadn’t caught her daydreaming since then. As Steven drifted towards his destination, all that greeted him was the sight that he had left behind previously: Jasper, kneeling on the high, flat top of the kindergarten. This time, however, the corruption wasn’t trying to terrorize her; in fact, she was curled around Jasper’s bent form, paws tucked beneath her chin, resting soundly. Steven touched down silently, not wanting to disturb the slumbering beast.

“Jasper?” He whispered, his voice barely audible. Not hearing the usual “go away” or getting a rock hurled at his head, Steven inched closer, peeking around the beast’s massive back.

This was the first time that he had gotten a close look at Jasper. To his surprise (although, he shouldn’t have been so shocked), there were think, oddly transparent shackles around her wrists that chained her to the ground, which he had never noticed before since she never turned to look at him. They were pulled taut, and he kept a safe distance from her as he moved around to see her face.

He stifled a gasp at the sight before him: Jasper was leaned against the corruption's forearm, face buried in her fur, fast asleep.

 _Huh, I guess it’s Quartz nap-time_ , Steven thought, a grin spreading across his entire face. He wondered idly what it meant when one was sleeping inside their own head, then decided that it didn’t really matter; from the looks of it, she really needed a nap. There were deep circles under her eyes and her mouth turned down into a natural frown, even in this resting state. But she looked so peaceful, curled up against her corrupted form.

He could hear faint dissonance within the void, and he figured that it was Jasper’s dreams, manifesting themselves as her memory did the first time he hopped into her mind. He continued his examination.

She was filthy, covered head to toe in dust, scuffed on her uniform and clumped in her hair. He stared particularly at the dirt tracks on her face, and his heart began to hurt at the thought of Jasper crying here, all alone. There were angry marks around her wrists where the shackles caught against her skin, rubbing it raw. He supposed that as a gem, she wouldn’t actually be hurt by it, but the idea that this was all simulated pain, torture, was just too much for him to bear.

The noises grew louder and louder, the source unseen but the terror was deafening. Screams, clashing metal, and running feet filled the air, mingled with the roar of thunder, but the scene before him remained the same, save for the faint red haze that settled around them. Clutching his ears, Steven watched as Jasper stirred in her sleep in the throes of a nightmare, muttering something he couldn’t quite make out.

The sounds of war rose to a fever pitch, and then suddenly faded away, along with the haze, as Jasper gasped and jackknifed into an upright position, nearly kicking Steven in the face. He briefly caught a wild, terrified expression before the chains pulled her forward again. She groaned, burying her head in her hands, oblivious to the intruder in front of her.

Steven took a few steps back, giving her a moment to collect herself as he planned what he wanted to say to her. There were many ways this could go: he could ask if she was okay, he could cheerfully greet her like nothing happened, he could go straight to the mean interrogation technique (which he figured she would respond the _most_ to). After the moment had passed and he decided to wing it, he moved slowly back towards her, as if he just showed up.

Jasper’s head shot up at the sound of Steven’s footsteps, surprise evident on her face. That was quickly replaced by anger, as she grasped a nearby stone in her fist.

“Wait!” Steven cried, protecting his face. “Please, I wanna talk to you, okay?!”

She clenched the rock tighter. “Why? So you can manipulate me with your lies?”

Steven felt his frustration, which had been simmering for weeks, begin to boil. “What reason would I have to lie to you? You’re corrupted! You’re in a bubble! You’re done!” He stamped his foot for emphasis. “Why would I lie to you when I could just ignore you?! I’ve never had anything, ANYTHING to gain from manipulating you! I’m here because I wanna help you, you dummy!” Steven felt a little satisfied, especially at the taken-aback look on Jasper’s face, but also a little guilty. “I just want to make things right.”

Jasper opened her mouth, but Steven cut her off, “I’m not Rose Quartz!" Taking a chance, he lifted up his shirt. "Look, I have her gem, I have her powers and her weapon and maybe a little of her personality, but we aren’t the same person.”

"Wha-you...really?" She blustered, the rock slipping from her fingers and rolling towards him. She shook her head, more in despair than in disbelief, and all the fight was gone. She looked tired. 

"And I wasn't really doing this for you, at first," he explained, feeling that the only way to get her attention was to speak more in her language. "I was doing this so I could figure out how corruption works--" He gestured towards the beast behind Jasper "--and how to heal it. I was also doing it because Amethyst suggested it. I don't really know why, but she really cares about you."

Jasper looked like she wanted to argue, but she didn't know what to say. She opened and closed her mouth a couple times before looking down at the ground, her expression unreadable. Steven took that as his cue to leave.

"Welp, this was a good start, but I should get going." Her head snapped up once more, her expression mildly frantic. She didn't say it out loud, but the words were written plainly on her face.

 _Don't go_.

"I'll be back soon," he quickly amended, before backing away to give her space once more. As he left the way he came, he patted the corruption tentatively on the side. She growled in response, but it seemed more out of principle (and irritation) than actual anger.

It was a start.

Steven stood on the edge of the platform and closed his eyes, reaching out for his own body, and awoke in his room, the gem still resting above him. That was when he remembered the much less troubled gem snoring below him. Peeping over the edge of the bed, he booped her nose with a decisive poke.

"Hey, Amethyst?" He whispered.

Her face scrunched and she cracked one open. "Yeah, Steve?" Then, realization dawning, she sat up. "Oh, how'd it go?"

Steven grinned and replied, "I think I made a breakthrough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting into the thick of it! I'm so excited for what I have planned next!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I should have the next chapter out in the next couple days, I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

After a couple nights of solid sleep, Steven was ready to delve back into the mindscape.

When he returned, Jasper was turned towards him, petting the corruption’s face absently, chains clinking with every movement. He was happy to see that she had brushed the dirt from her clothes and hair, and she didn't appear to be in pain, as she had previously. There was no horrific scene playing out below them, and the corruption was sitting peacefully beside her, rumbling softly, almost purring. As soon as his feet touched the glassy surface, he waved enthusiastically, a friendly grin across his face.

“Hi, Jasper! Told you I’d be back soon!” He called. He was excited to see her again, but he decided to overplay the greeting to see how she would react.

She glanced in his direction, grunted, and looked away. That certainly wasn’t a rock to the face, so he counted that as another sign of improvement. With this little bit of encouragement, he came a little closer than he normally would, stopping within arm’s length of Jasper before sitting down in front of her. She avoided his gaze, a look of irritation and discomfort on her face, but she didn’t tell him to move…

“It’s probably a stupid question to ask how you are, right?”

“Sure,” Jasper mumbled half-heartedly, her hand resting on the beast’s head like a lifeline.

“Okay…what’s the deal with her?" Steven tried instead, pointing at the corruption. "What can you tell me about corruption, that is, if you're comfortable with talking about it?”

Jasper shrugged. They obviously weren’t going to get anywhere at this rate. Steven scooted a little closer, trying not to feel intimidated by the sheer size of his unwilling companion and the corruption beside her.

“Come on, Jasper,” he encouraged, “I need to know what’s bothering you. It’s gonna be pretty hard to heal you if I don’t know where to start.”

More silence.

“Jasper, don’t you want to be healed?” He began to reach towards her.

“Don’t!” Jasper spat, jumping up sharply, chains pulling taut against her wrists. “Don’t touch me!” The corruption growled warningly at Steven as she too stood and paced around Jasper, on guard once again. Jasper turned away from him and fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands. Beneath her, the ground appeared to liquify, the chains around her wrists sinking into the mud.

“Jasper, stop!” Steven ran forward, his flip flops splashing in the shallow puddle. He pulled on her arm, as if that could stop her. “Please!”

She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and tossed him back onto solid ground. As Steven scrambled to grab her again, she was quickly consumed by the earth, not unlike the scene he had witnessed in Malachite’s mind. The corruption lumbered away, leaping into the dark recesses of what Steven was beginning to think of as Jasper’s prison.

Steven stood alone on the platform, unsure of what had just happened.

Shaken, he moved towards the spot where she had disappeared and pressed his palm to the ground, which was now completely solid and bone dry. Everything was silent, save for the hot wind that blew gently through the canyon, whistling softly.

What was he going to do now?

Steven had nothing to lose. He went after the corruption, the more honest of the two inhabitants. From his vantage point atop the platform, he could see the mottled orange-and-seafoam-green form bounding towards the bottom of the canyon, almost completely shrouded in shadow. Sucking in his breath—and simultaneously realizing he didn’t need to breathe here, but feeling comforted by the sensation anyway—he sprang towards an outcropping on the wall opposite to him.

He continued with this all the way down, moving from surface to surface, down to where the corruption disappeared. When he finally landed at the bottom, he found himself at Jasper’s hole, now cast in shadow as the imaginary sunset faded to darkness. The corruption was nowhere in sight, but he could faintly see Jasper, standing in the middle of the empty passage with her arms crossed. A slow drizzle began to patter gently.

Steven walked up slowly, not sure whether he should leave her alone or push the issue. To his surprise, she was the one who spoke first.

“It rained here twice in an Earth year.”

“Really?” Steven replied uncertainly.

“Yeah. Hot and dry for months on end, and then it would rain and flood. It was miserable.” She squeezed her arms. “Muddy, dark, and cold. That’s when the Crystal Gems liked to attack. We took turns looking for shards in the mud.”

“Did they really shatter you guys?”

“They were going to shatter eventually, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?” Her shoulders hitched a bit. “They never had a chance.”

Steven didn’t know what to say, so he chose not to say anything.

At this point, they were both thoroughly soaked. He stood beside Jasper, looking up at her face. To his surprise, there were tears rolling down her cheeks, mixing with rain, and she stared hard into the distance. Looking down at the ground, Steven could see the faint glimmer of the shattered remains of Beta’s spawn.

Jasper sobbed loudly, covering her face. Steven took a chance and patted her knee, and thankfully she didn’t react.

“I’m not okay,” she finally muttered behind her hands. The rain slowed and finally stopped, as the kindergarten was illuminated by tiny stars. Compared to the vastness of the sky above, Jasper looked so small, so insignificant.

“Do you know what happened to you?” Steven asked suddenly.

Jasper looked down at him, confused. “What?” She asked, her voice still wavering.

“When you fused with that gem, do you know what happened to you afterwards?”

She glared at the ground. “I was defeated.”

“No! I mean after that, when you changed.”

“You…mentioned corruption,” she stated, frowning.

“Do you know what that is?” He pressed.

“Does it not have something to do with Earth?” She replied, increasingly frustrated.

“Well, I don’t quite understand it myself, but it’s something that the Diamonds did to end the war. All the sick gems you caught were corrupted when everyone was leaving.” She looked doubtful, so he continued. “One of the corrupted gems is my friend. I don’t know her real name, but we call her Centipeetle because she looks like a cross between- never mind. What I’m getting at is I half-healed her and that’s what she told me. When they were retreating, there was this bright light...song...thing that turned then into monsters. She was one of the Homeworld gems that was left behind and corrupted, along with all of the Crystal Gems, except for my mom, Pearl, and Garnet. Amethyst was also saved because she was still in the ground, and Lapis was in the mirror."

"...I...don't understand," Jasper finally said, rubbing her face tiredly.

"It's okay. We don't understand it completely either," Steven replied, glad that she was finally talking to him rationally. He turned and leapt up to face level of Jasper, gazing at her seriously, as she stared back bewilderedly. "Are you going to cooperate and do what we ask you to do?"

"Why are you trying to heal me?" Jasper shot back.

"Why are you trying to stop me?"

"I deserve this! Can't you see?" She gestured to the vacant, uneven holes that stood as silent testimony to the gems that once inhabited them. "I was made to fail, just like them! I thought if I could end this, end HER, once and for all, I would make up for all the failure and I lost!"

The corruption appeared out of nowhere, prepared to guard her again.

It appeared as if Jasper was clinging to her corruption as some sick way to cope with what happened, and Steven found himself wondering what this had replaced. Amethyst's musing suddenly came to mind, about how Jasper must have been treated compared to her sisters at the human zoo. If that were the case, she would have had a lot more Hollys and a lot less sisters. Knowing she was more receptive to orders, Steven zoomed into her face, nose a couple inches from from her gem.

"I don't care! You're gonna let me heal you and you're gonna like it!" He poked her nose vehemently. "Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and call off that corruption!"

She looked offended to be bossed around by this puny anomaly, but she still complied as the corruption sat calmly to the side. Steven nodded approvingly.

"Now, I'm gonna try something. I can't say that it will heal you, but it's worth a shot." Then, as an afterthought, "don't be mad; my mom had healing tears, so I have healing spit...but I like to think of it as healing kisses. Either way, you aren't gonna like it."

Indeed, she did you look displeased. Before she could protest, however, Steven leaned forward and kissed her gem, making it glow faintly. She jolted backwards, grabbing her gem like he had burned her and spouting obscenities. From the corner of his vision, Steven could see the world around them waver slightly, growing darker and brighter as the night passed into day. The corruption howled, bringing him back to the situation. Tantrum interrupted, Jasper whipped to see her corrupted form writhing against the wall.

"Wha- what did you do?!" She cried.

The monster began to shrink and melt into the wall, disappearing from view. Jasper rushed towards the spot and attempted to pry at the wall to no avail.

Steven was a little stunned. For all intents and purposes, he had actually done it. The corruption was actually at bay--he wasn't going to venture that it was completely gone--and Jasper, despite looking a little devastated, was okay. He didn't care how hung up she was on this corruption thing, he wasn't going to let her suffer like this. He patted Jasper's knee again with a yawn, suddenly drained.

"Are you okay now?"

"I don't know," Jasper muttered, palm still pressed to the stone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy, equal parts fluff and angst incoming! Again, sorry for the delays, I'm muddling through end of the year homework. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

***5000 years ago***

Jasper feels empty.

Reassigning had been a very efficient process. Her case was brought before a judge; after all, with her mad dash to shatter Rose Quartz during the retreat, her disobedience could not go unpunished. Of course, she knows that most of what they say is for show; she is allowed to live (for now) as the only salvageable piece of her doomed planet, but it is by no means irrevocable.

A warning. They are letting her off with a warning.

Jasper finds herself contemplating different ways to invoke their rage, testing her precarious position. It couldn’t be that hard to raise a fuss, ending this nightmare once and for all. What right had she to this life that was so cruelly ripped from a being as deserving of it as Pink Diamond? Why should she be allowed to live, when all of her sisters were denied that right? Why should she be free when every other gem birthed from the earth’s crust was either imprisoned or shattered?

Sickened and ashamed of her disrespect of Yellow Diamond’s generosity, Jasper pushes the thoughts from her mind. And Pink Diamond…she is the only gem left of her diamond’s colony. How could she be so selfish?

So, she stood before the officials who determined her fate. She hollowly affirmed and denied various claims made for and against her. In another universe, perhaps she would have bragged to them about her accomplishments—they were all begrudgingly impressed by her reputation as the Facet 9 Kindergarten Quartz that Could—but all she could will herself to do was nod and stare at the back wall of this Rhodochrosite’s office.

The verdict: reconditioning, or in her case, conditioning. She was put on another ship, where she now resides, headed to a small outpost that orbits Homeworld’s planet. The entire affair lasted a mere Earth hour.

Old Jasper would have marveled the greatness of the place that passes by the porthole of her cabin, but Old Jasper—Muscles—is dead. She was shattered on Earth with her diamond. On second thought, she never emerged from her pitiful, sandstone hole. She never existed.

“I’m better than that place,” Jasper mutters ardently. There’s a reason why she was granted a second chance and they weren’t. She is stronger, more suited for Homeworld’s regime. Perhaps it was even merciful to put them out of their misery.

They didn’t have a chance.

***Present***

When Steven awoke to tell Amethyst what had transpired, she could hardly believe it. Despite her faith in Steven’s friend-making abilities, part of her had been doubtful that they would ever make it this far, and so quickly, at that. Of course, judging from Jasper's reaction, this was only the beginning.

There were two ground rules: not in the house (Pearl), and not in the Temple (Garnet). Garnet didn’t want to risk Jasper getting out of control and accidentally (or purposely) unbubbling the other gems in the Burning Room. The four of them could wrangle in one unstable gem, but dozens in one room—with a pit of lava at the center—was a completely different matter. Centipeetle had been a risk, but Jasper, if she was still corrupted, was twice her size.

Amethyst had suggested Beta, thinking that Jasper would be less disoriented in the place where she had been poofed, a place that was already very familiar to her. Of course, she simply suggested that it was bigger and far from civilization, safer than unbubbling her on the beach.

So, there she was, carrying Jasper’s bubbled gem close to her body as she followed behind the others, trying not to act too impatiently.

It was pathetic to admit it, but she was truly excited to see her. Amethyst tried not to get her hopes up; Garnet had said that there were a few futures in which the healing didn’t work, and she would return as a corruption. And if it did work, there were many futures where she immediately fought back, and a couple where she escaped. There was, in actuality, a comparatively small chance that she would actually uncorrupt and go with them willingly, so Amethyst tried to silence the hopeful, companion-starved part of her mind.

Once the group had traveled a reasonable distance away from the warp pad—on the off-chance that Jasper would make for that first—Garnet and Pearl parted to let Steven and Amethyst through.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Pearl asked, clutching her hands together in that nervous-motherly way she always did. Although she was looking at Steven, it was obvious that the question was directed at both of them.

“I think we are. What do you think, Amethyst?” Steven replied, looking over at her.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Amethyst sighed, releasing the bubble gently. It floated just above her head, catching the mid-morning light and casting everything below it in a faint purple glow.

Garnet and Pearl gave them a little space. Steven had conceded to them having their weapons drawn, as long as they stood a fair distance back and didn’t point them at Jasper, or the corruption that she might become, until it was absolutely necessary. Hesitantly, they complied, not quite trusting the situation, but trusting Steven to know what he was talking about. Amethyst held her whip loosely at her side, dreading the fact that she may have to use it.

Finally, Steven reached up and popped the bubble.

The gem dropped a couple feet, almost touching the ground, before it came to halt and began to glow. It rose several feet into the air, the light growing in intensity. The tension in the air was so palpable, Amethyst could have sliced it with her whip.

The light took shape, forming the marionette-like base shape of Jasper, before shifting through one form after the next, each only slightly different from the previous one. As the light-form exploded out into the monstrous shape of the corruption, Amethyst reached over for Steven’s hand, pulling him back instinctively. The form wavered and froze for a second, flickering slightly as everyone watched nervously.

As Amethyst worst fears seemed to be realized, the form began to grow smaller, slowly and deliberately. When it reached a familiar Jasper shape, the light shifted more quickly, rewinding through her previous forms, until she suddenly stopped. The light faded away, Jasper’s feet mere inches from the ground, and she fell flat on the ground with a groan.

* * *

 

_Ughhhhh…_

Jasper’s body ached all over, as if she had just been in the fight of her life, a dull ache that only resulted from totally depleting one’s energy, leaving only enough to maintain a form. All she could think of was the tingling in her limbs and the massive headache that was coming on.

Senses returning, she became aware that she was contorted awkwardly on the ground, knees tucked under her body and cheek pressed against the soft, clay-filled dirt.

_Home…Beta._

Testing her strength, she slid one weary hand beneath her chest and pushed herself up onto her elbow. The tingling, starting in her fingertips and radiating up her arm, turned to prickling, as she felt the contours of her arm shifting painfully. She gasped at the suddenness, unable to move. She was shaking, clenching and unclenching the afflicted fist. Tears pricked her eyes; this was a pain that was vaguely familiar, but to her utter frustration, she could not will her mind to think beyond her current situation.

Desperate, she reached up to her gem and attempted to pry at the edges. She didn’t care; she just wanted it to STOP.

She could vaguely hear commotion beyond her field of vision. Among them, she heard one small, raspy voice cry, “Jasper! Stop!”

A rope—no, a whip—wrapped around her wrist, pulling her hand half an inch from her face, the voice grunting with effort. Instinct told her to comply, so she let her hands drop limply into her lap, and she stared at the whip blankly, too exhausted to fight back.

The whip disappeared, and Jasper’s tired mind took a moment to register that it was gone.

“Can you guys go ahead? ...Yeah, I think we got it from here…Yeah, Steven? …Good idea.” Footsteps crunched towards her, followed by a rough palm touching her painfully tense forearm.

“You gotta chill, Jasper,” the voice insisted, “calm down.”

Jasper swallowed hard, recognizing the voice without knowing who the voice belonged to. Coming to her senses a bit, Jasper took a deep breath through her mouth, and let it out slowly. Her eyes focused on the forearm where the hand ( _purple_ was the only thing her dumbfounded mind could articulate at first sight) was resting, and she was surprised to see her orange skin mottled with blue spots and vicious-looking spikes. But as her body relaxed, they seemed to fade back into her arm, disappearing completely.

All the while, the voice continued to murmur encouragements: “it’s okay. You’re okay. Relax. Just breathe, in and out, just like that. It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

The purple hand left her arm, and Jasper was about to look about for it when she felt small, pudgy arms wrap around her neck. The owner of the hand pressed her warm body against Jasper’s, and her soft hair brushed against her chin. A small, irrational part of Jasper wanted to shove her away in disgust, while another, equally irrational part didn’t want her to let go. She stayed completely still, letting the warmth fill her chest as she allowed her chin to rest on the smaller gem’s head.

_Better._

She was so tired.

The gem pulled away a bit and pulled Jasper’s head down. Her eye’s focused on a round, violet face with big eyes partially obscured by pale, lavender hair.

_Amethyst._

“Get up, we need to go,” Amethyst ordered, tugging on Jasper’s arm.

It took a moment for Jasper to gather her strength, but eventually she hauled herself up onto her knees, and then to her feet. Her eyes focused on the scenery, taking in the familiar red cliffs of the Beta Kindergarten. She remembered this view from another time. Another small gem stood to the side, watching her wearily.

“Steven,” She accidently said aloud, little more than a hoarse whisper. Some of the events from the mindscape came rushing back to her and she was irritated at the embarrassment she felt. Steven smiled back at her.

“Hi, Jasper.”

Shakily, she let Amethyst guide her to the warp pad, where two other gems were waiting. She didn’t look at them. There was a flash of light, and they were suddenly looking into a small wooden building.

“Come on,” Amethyst said, pulling her towards a place to sit down. Suddenly too weak to walk, Jasper complied, flopping down. The couch complained at the extra weight, but Jasper was already drifting off to sleep.

She wasn’t going to be happy when she woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gotten carried away...but I finally brought Jasper back from the bubble dungeon! I've been really tired lately; yesterday I wrote a 5 and a second later mistook it for an S, so some of the text in the middle there is probably a bit garbled (also I don't feel like proofreading thoroughly), sorry! Thank you for reading! (PS - Jasper's gonna be cranky after her nap).


	7. Chapter 7

_Darkness, cool and safe, content in the oblivion that was the prologue to life. No notion of leaving ever occurred to her until she was bursting from the dirt into the existence._

_Jasper exploded dramatically from the wall of the Beta kindergarten, trailed by streams of molten rock. Immediately, she was assaulted by the sounds of battle, with gems all around her tearing into each other. Disoriented by the dissonance, she crouched in her exit hole and marveled at the scene before her._

_Before she could even set foot outside her now smoldering hole, an unfamiliar gem dropped out of nowhere and ripped Jasper from the hole by her hair, flinging her to the ground. The force was so great that it would have certainly ended her short existence, if it weren’t for the helmet that materialized on her head a millisecond before impact. Instead, her neck was jarred painfully upward._

_Thinking fast, she braced herself against the ground and kicked the gem squarely in the knee. While the gem was incapacitated, she plowed into her head-first, using the only defense Jasper knew. The gem was thrust into the wall with twice the force she had inflicted on Jasper. In an explosion of light, the enemy was reduced to her gemstone, which fell to the ground below. A hairline fracture ran along the length of it._

_Shaking with agitation, Jasper prepared for the next assault._

_The commotion around her was almost too much to bear. The noise was deafening: screams mingled with clashing weapons and explosions, as fallen gems released their physical forms. She could scarcely determine who was friend and who was foe, so she charged towards a group of gems who resembled the surrounding landscape and hoped that was the right choice._

_One of them caught a glimpse of her and nearly toppled over the tiny red-orange gem in front of her. The tiny one, hardly fazed by nearly being squashed, let out a cry of delight at their new companion. “You’re finally out! And you’re HUGE!”_

_“You’re just what we need!” Another cried._

_“What’s going on?!” Jasper shouted over the din. The voice that boomed from her throat startled her._

_But the battle was already picking up in intensity and the group split in several directions. A slender hand pulled on Jasper’s arm, and Jasper instinctively swung a fist in that direction._

_“Woah! Hey!” The gem cried. To Jasper’s surprise, the gem was like the others of the group—another jasper—yet her entire body was narrower that Jasper’s bicep. The gem’s eyes widened and she screamed, “look out!”_

_They both tumbled to the ground as three gems spun into the scene, blazing over their heads. The skinny jasper started tugging at Jasper’s arm pulling her behind a boulder._

_“Wait! What about-?”_

_“Listen!” the gem cried, poking Jasper in the chest. “You take orders from her”—she pointed up at a brown and red gem shouting commands—“You fight for Pink Diamond and for the Earth. We have to kill anyone who doesn’t have this.” She pointed at the insignia on her chest. “That’s what the peridots told us.”_

_“Who?” This was a lot of information to take in for a gem who hadn’t even existed for five minutes._

_“They left when the fighting got too bad. Not important. Let’s go knock some gems!” And with that, the Jasper led her back into the fray…_

* * *

 

Jasper was comatose for four whole days, putting Lapis’ day and a half after Malachite to shame.

After all the strife she had caused, it was odd to see her in such a passive state in the middle Steven’s living room. Jasper slept like a rock: silent, immovable, and unresponsive. Nothing could rouse her, not even Steven’s constant, sometimes desperate, attempts at waking her. She was, however, very active, tossing and turning, grappling with some unseen assailant.

She had reverted back to her original form, like a hard system reset on a computer, as Connie described it while visiting the day after the incident. It matched the scorched landscape she had come from, ranging from burnt sienna to dark brown with hints of orange. However, a high-collared sleeveless top with a pink diamond emblazoned across the chest—painfully similar to the uniform that Amethyst emerged in about 500 years later—was the only huge difference from the uniform she wore previously.

Sometimes, in the midst of a particularly active dream, her hand would creep up her side and clutch at the insignia.

The gems took turns watching Jasper, so that Steven wouldn’t have to deal with her alone when she did wake. One night, as Amethyst sat beside her on the couch and pretended to ignore her, Steven looked particularly bothered.

“What’s up, Steven?” Amethyst asked.

With a sigh, Steven flopped down next to Amethyst, careful not to disturb Jasper. “I’m just worried, you know?” He lowered his voice to almost a whisper. “Centi wasn’t even tired after she was half-uncorrupted. I…what if something went wrong?” Steven’s eyes filled with tears. “What if I broke her and she never wakes up, and if she does she’ll just turn into a monster again and then I’ll never be able to fix her because I already screwed up and her mind is too far gone- “

“Steven! Chill, bud. Healing didn’t hurt Centi, did it? It just didn’t stick, am I right?”

Steven nodded his head, trying to stop the steady flow of tears. _He’s such a sweet kid_ , Amethyst couldn’t help thinking fondly, _a sweet little crybaby._

“Then there’s no way you hurt Jasper, physically at least. Look at her! She looks like herself again. You’ve done all you can do for her.” Amethyst glanced over at Jasper’s sleeping form. “But I think she’s long overdue for a good nap, after a few thousand years of Homeworld and a few months of Lapis and a few days with you.” This elicited a rueful smile from Steven. “I’m tired just thinking about it! Just give her time.”

“O-okay, Amethyst,” he replied, swallowing hard and wiping his face.

 

In the middle of the fourth day, when the gems were just beginning to accept her as a fixture in Steven’s room, Jasper woke up.

Steven was sitting beside her when she began to stir, and he jumped up excitedly to alert the other gems. Moving stiffly, Jasper pried her face off the upholstery and swiped the stray hair from her face and out of her mouth. She looked up, seeming to register that she was not in the most desirable situation, and begrudgingly regarded the gems before her. Steven, however, was absolutely ecstatic.

“Jasper!” Steven cried, throwing all caution to the wind as he ran forward and threw his arms around her neck before the gems could stop him. “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re awake! I guess it wasn’t that long, but I was so worried that it didn’t work! Ahhhh, I’m so happy!”

Amethyst wished she had a camera on hand, just to capture the expression on Jasper’s face. It seemed that this was one tactic she hadn’t been prepared for. She fell back at an awkward angle as Steven hung off her body, practically sitting in her lap, as she looked down at him like he had lost his mind. In one swift movement, she slipped her hand between him and her body, effectively prying him off of her and dumping him on the floor.

Steven continued his gushing on the floor, giggling and giddy. It took him a whole five minutes to realize that Jasper was in a pissy mood, refusing to answer his questions. She sat with her arms crossed as she waited for the humiliating situation to end.

Garnet finally intervened, a smile playing on her lips. “Alright, alright, Steven. You know what we have to do now.”

With a sigh, Steven stood, casting one last smile at Jasper. “Sorry, but you’re technically a prisoner.”

“Great, my favorite,” Jasper replied dryly. “Are you gonna chain me down at the bottom of the ocean?”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“What do you think, Steven?” Garnet asked unexpectedly.

“Really?” Steven gasped, surprised. “Huh, well, I don’t really know! She’s way too big to stay in the bathroom like Peridot…no offense, Jasper” —she looked confused— “but she’s already been staying in my room. You don’t want to keep her in the temple, do you?”

“She’ll be less of an issue staying in your room. We can all continue to keep an eye on her until she proves she can be trusted. Jasper,” she said, addressing the ward, “you’re allowed her and in the bathroom, not in the temple, not outside the house, and don’t even think about using the warp pad. I’ll know. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jasper replied half-heartedly, not caring enough to make a biting retort.

Garnet wasn’t having this. “I said, _do you understand?_ ”

“Yes, I understand!”

“Yes, who?”

“Yes, Garnet,” Jasper grumbled.

“Good. Oh, and Jasper?”

“What?” Jasper questioned impatiently.

“You have to be nice to Steven, as well as respectful to all of us. Follow these rules, and things will go well for you.”

“Yes, Garnet,” Jasper replied, quick to learn. Arms still crossed, she looked away and said nothing more.

Amethyst could see from a mile away that this wasn’t going to be easy, but perhaps it would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get the sneaking suspicion that canon is about to slip away from me in season 5, but I gonna finish this, even if it kills me! The first section is from my first fic Earthling Beginnings, refined a little here and there to suit my purposes. Oh, and this two story series is now gonna be a trilogy! This time, we're gonna follow the gems at the Zoo. I don't think I'll have a story, just a series of short stories. I want to do something different! Anyways, thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

For a whole week, Jasper was cooperative. She kept to the non-restricted areas, she said her “yes, Garnet’s” and slightly-less enthused “yes, Pearl’s,” and she was civil with Steven, even going as far as to contribute to his mostly one-sided conversations. However, it was Amethyst that she gravitated to the most, whether she realized it or not.

It wasn’t as if she was any more pleasant towards Amethyst than the others, that was certain. That could be attributed to the fact that Amethyst didn’t care for bossing her around as a form of punishment, as Garnet had established, yet there was no rule that Jasper should stay silent besides replying to direct orders. She hated to admit it, but it felt a little disheartening, as if she actually had high expectations. At least she wasn’t fighting everyone.

And yet…when Pearl would become fed up with Jasper’s pacing (which she did on a regular basis), Jasper would sit close to Amethyst, who had taken to hanging out in the house for that very reason. When Amethyst would quietly read a magazine or manga, she could practically feel her eyes peering over her shoulder. When Steven’s stories bored her (as they always did), she would cast a glance at Amethyst, who would then intervene. Despite the lack of communication, there was certainly a connection between them.

After a week had passed without incident, Pearl felt it was safe to continue training as usual with Steven and Connie.

Jasper had taken to sitting on the floor in the bend of the couch, pushing the coffee table away with her knees. Even at this height, she could still look down at Connie as the small human scurried past her, totting Rose’s sword—almost comedically large compared to her narrow from—as if it were nothing. Steven gave Jasper a look as if to say “leave Connie alone.” Amethyst punched Jasper’s shin to emphasize this, and Jasper finally looked away.

“Bye Amethyst! Bye Jasper!” Steven cried, waving from the warp pad.

“See ya later, kiddos,” Amethyst replied. “Hey, P, make sure they don’t fall off the sky arena again.”

“Oh Amethyst, that was one time!” Pearl said exasperatedly. “Don’t get in any trouble, you two.”

“Alrighty,” Amethyst drawled.

“Yes, Pearl,” Jasper muttered sullenly.

And with that, the trio was gone.

With Garnet off taking care of her leaderly duties outside the temple, they had the house to themselves. The silence in the room was palpable.

“So, Jasper…” Amethyst began hesitantly, trying to break the ice. Jasper, however, was hardly listening. Before the words had even left Amethyst’s mouth, she jumped up from her spot on the floor, nearly tipping the table on its side in the process, and paced the length of the small house.

Amethyst could tell that she was trying to hide the fact that she was antsy by stopping to look out one window and then the other, all while concealing her face behind her hair, a gesture that Amethyst was all too familiar with. The way that she gripped her arm, the one that had reacted strangely after Steven healed her, was a bit alarming, but she knew better than to question it. The last thing she needed was for Jasper to clam up more than she already has.

After a good fifteen minutes of this, Amethyst had enough. “Dude, will you chill out?”

“How could I do that?!” Jasper snapped irritably, hugging her arm tighter.

“I didn’t mean literally!” Amethyst fired back. Taking a deep breath, she continued more patiently, “I meant that you need to calm down. You look like a caged animal.”

“Is that not what I am?”

“You don’t have to be! If you were nicer, we wouldn’t have to babysit you!” Amethyst was trying not to lose her temper, but Jasper was just…too damn stubborn for her own good. “Look, we kept a close eye on Peri until we could trust her, and Peridot keeps an eye on Lapis. And since we can’t trust you and Lapis to be together in the same place, you just have to settle for me, okay?!”

“I don’t care!” Jasper replied, glaring at Amethyst over her shoulder. The way she looked away and slumped her shoulders, however, showed that she did care, deeply. And what she said seemed to hit a little too close to home.

“I’m sorry, Jasp,” Amethyst tried again. “I just want to you to calm down for a bit. Hey, training can go on for a while, so we pretty much have the house to ourselves all day. We can watch a movie or something. What do you think?”

She doubted that Jasper knew what a movie was, but her muttered “sure” was enough for her. With an affirmative nod, Amethyst went into the temple to retrieve a good film to watch, and maybe some nice, big blankets. Or maybe they could just commandeer Steven’s bed…but Jasper was too big. They could move the TV downstairs.

Amethyst’s first mistake was leaving Jasper in the house alone. Her second mistake was closing the temple door while she searched.

When she returned with an assortment of movies, Jasper was nowhere to be seen.

_Crap._

After a quick check of the entire house, Amethyst shape -shifted into an owl. She searched the surrounding beach, the lighthouse, and the boardwalk with no luck. No one seemed to be particularly perturbed, besides seeing a purple owl flying about in the middle of the day, so it was obvious that a huge, orange soldier hadn’t disrupted the peace within the last ten minutes. She returned to the house, feeling sick to her stomach.

Of course she managed to screw this up.

Not willing to succumb to the bitter tears that welled up in her eyes, Amethyst hopped on the warp pad and travelled to the one place Jasper knew better than anyone else: Beta. When she arrived, she was surprised to find that it was ominously dark, so different from the last few times she had visited. The sky was a bruised purply-grey, and thunder rolled in the distance, quickly moving closer. Why, of all times, did it have to rain now?!

Kindergartens, at least the two that Amethyst had encountered, were mazelike in complete sunlight, but nearly impossible to navigate in darkness, and the eminent storm did nothing to help. Although she was very familiar with her kindergarten by this point, Jasper’s was an entirely different matter.

Her only guides were the injectors, casting a deep magenta glow over the top of the kindergarten. Tugging the collar of her tank top below her gem, Amethyst illuminated the path in front of her further. Beta wasn’t nearly as dark as her own kindergarten at night—and miraculously lacking of blinding fog—but the prospect wandering through a dark, unfamiliar maze with a gem who could easily smash her made her feel a little sick. It didn’t help that, along with its inherent twists and turns, the walls (as Peridot had noted) curved so oddly that it was impossible to see where one column ended and another began in this gloom.

As the thunder mounted to an almost deafening level, she finally found a recognizable landmark: a downed injector. Its luminescent contents drowned the area in light. The legs were ripped off of it, proving itself to be a victim from Jasper’s previous antics. She was finally going in the right direction.

With her experience at the zoo, she couldn’t help but peer into the oddly shaped, vacant holes and wonder who had once occupied it. Finally, she came upon a hole whose inhabitant she was familiar with.

Manifesting her whip, Amethyst doused the light in her gem and crept under the impressive exit hole, thankful for her small stature as her footsteps barely crunched through the sand. Unwilling to jump into a potential fight blind, she tried her shamefully under-used quartz tracking abilities, attempting to locate Jasper. After a moment’s struggle, she found her inside the hole and not hiding in the surrounding shadows, ready to pounce. She wasn’t sure if this was better or not.

Throwing caution to the wind, Amethyst clambered up the wall, hauling herself inside. Jasper was huddled in the very back of the hole, just as Amethyst believed she would be. Quartzes were nothing if not predictable, it would seem.

“What the heck, Jasper?” Amethyst huffed as she crawled into the hole. “You know, we could still bubble your butt all over again!”

Jasper scooted further back into the hole without answer. Amethyst put her whip away and moved closer as the rain began to pummel the side of the cave.

“Leave me alone,” Jasper finally growled when Amethyst came to close.

“Uh, no! You’re still our prisoner. I’m not gonna leave you here like this!” She sat down against the one side of the hole, pressing against Jasper’s leg. Time to go for a new approach. “I like to hide in my hole when I feel like crap…or when the others accidently make me feel like garbage. I like how snug the rock feels around me. It’s like getting a nice, big hug from mama Earth!” She patted the wall behind her in emphasis. “Did you ever miss your hole when you were on Homeworld?”

“Sometimes,” Jasper muttered, taking Amethyst by surprise. Jasper was opening up.

“Feels nice, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Jasper cringed and curled further into herself.

“Are you okay?!” Amethyst cried, trying to pull at Jasper’s arm.

“I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not! Let me see!” Finally, Jasper revealed her arm, exposing the corruption that marred the surface. In the gloom of the cave, Amethyst could see Jasper’s face contorted in pain. “Oh, Jasper…”

Jasper pulled her arm back, staring beyond Amethyst into the torrents of rain and flashing lightning beyond. “You should have shattered me.”

“Don’t be stupid!”

“Don’t you see?” She said quietly, “I’ve…I’ve ruined everything. I couldn’t save Pink Diamond, I couldn’t stop Rose Quartz, I couldn’t follow orders, I couldn’t persuade Lapis, I couldn’t keep us together, I couldn’t function without her…” She sucked in her breath. The corruption grew more pronounced. “I c-couldn’t even get those gems, those…corruptions, to cooperate. I was stupid and desperate enough to fuse with one. I was a failure from the start, and now I’m ruined forever. I can’t go back to Homeworld, and I can’t function here. You should have just shattered me.”

“I don’t shatter gems,” Amethyst replied seriously. Thinking for a moment, she decided that now was the perfect time to hash things out. Jasper needed a friend, but before they could be friends, she had to get her own grievances off her chest. “Why do you hate me?”

“Because you’re a Crystal Gem,” Jasper answered without hesitation.

“Why do you _really_ hate me?” Amethyst pressed. “You said I’m defective, but every single one of your sisters are defective, too! Do you hate them, too?”

“They’re all dead!” Jasper cried, finally burying her face in her knees.

“What do you mean? Wait.” It was now or never. “Jasper…they aren’t dead. I mean, some of them aren’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Came Jasper’s muffled voice.

“I- oh jeez, okay let me explain. Look at me,” she commanded, directing Jasper’s attention. “It’s a long story, but a while back we went to the human zoo to rescue Steven’s dad and…they’re there!” Jasper began to shake her head. “It’s true! I don’t care what you were told, I saw them! There were tons of Amethysts there and not a whole lot of Betas, but they are there. I…I can’t remember them a whole lot, but there was a Jasper there called ‘Skinny,’ and a Carnelian that was just taller than me.”

“Where did you hear about that?” Jasper challenged, balling her hands into fists.

“I didn’t hear it anywhere. I saw them!”

“You’re lying!”

“You think I would lie about this?! All of the earthlings were there, the ones that were left. I met a bunch of gems from _my own_ kindergarten, gems I never dreamed I would meet. You think I would lie about something like that?”

“I- maybe…”

“No. I wouldn’t,” Amethyst replied firmly, watching the realization dawn in Jasper’s bright yellow eyes. “Skinny said there was 15 of them. I can’t speak for all of them, but Carnelian really misses you.”

“Stop.”

Jasper continued to shake her head, digging her fingers in her arm.

“I didn’t want to tell you that until…we got on better terms. You wouldn’t of believed me. But…”

“I believe you,” Jasper replied, not even attempting to hide the tears that streaked down her face. “I guess that’s it. Everything I know is a lie.” She sobbed loudly, finally reaching her breaking point as she shifted her grasp onto the diamond on her chest.

Watching Jasper cry was one of the saddest things Amethyst had ever seen. Amethyst couldn’t offer much comfort at this point, so instead she moved to the other side of the hole to inspect Jasper’s arm, which was still festering. She ran her fingers gently over the spikes that began to manifest across it. Jasper hissed in between gasping sobs.

“It ha-hurts s-so much!”

“Shhh…I know, I know,” Amethyst soothed.

“I don’t wa-wanna be a stupid monster again,” Jasper continued, trying to calm down. As soon as her sobs quieted, the spikes began to recede.

“You’re not. Look,” Amethyst replied, touching Jasper’s arm again as the corruption began to disappear.

Jasper hiccupped, which had to of been the cutest noise she ever made, and ran her own fingers across her skin, where the last bits of blue-green were fading away.

“Is this what has been bothering you?” Amethyst asked.

“A-among other things, yeah,” Jasper conceded, her voice still wavering a bit.

“Ugh, Jasp!” Amethyst cried. “Okay, here’s a new rule—it carries as much weight as a Garnet rule—you gotta tell us when something is bothering you, especially if it involves corruption. Believe it or not, we aren’t total jerks. You can talk to me, you can talk to Steven. When you’re on better terms with Garnet and Pearl, you can talk to them, too.”

Jasper didn’t seem too keen on this idea, but at least she stopped crying, while the storm raged on outside. They quietly watched the rain pour on outside for a few moments.

“It is nice in here,” Jasper croaked, clearing her throat.

“Mama Earth hugs all her children, big and small,” Amethyst laughed, punching Jasper’s knee. “Guess that makes us sisters, right?”

“Sure,” Jasper replied, rolling her eyes. She couldn’t, however, hide the grin that crept onto her face.

‘Well, that’s good to know, but…you’re gonna be in so much trouble if they find out you left the house, so we should probably get going.”

“Yeah, might as well start moving before it floods,” Jasper replied with a weak chuckle.

* * *

 

 

 

After 15 minutes of splashing through ankle-deep water and torrential rain, they finally made it through to the warp and back home, dripping and laughing. A quick glance at the clock showed that two hours had passed, and there were no angry gems in sight. Relief instantly flooded Amethyst’s system, making her feel weak.

“Okay, stay here and let me grab some towels," Amethyst laughed, hopping off the warp pad and opening her door," not Steven’s, though ‘cause they’ll notice. I’ve got some in my room. Do NOT go anywhere!”

“You aren’t going to tell on me?” Jasper asked, surprised.

“Dude, you needed hole time,” Amethyst replied emphatically. "The others...they wouldn't understand that. This is between us.”

“Oh, uh...Thanks,” Jasper said as sincerely as she could, embarrassment evident on her face at the thought of what she just did.

“No problem, sis!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alright, anything for you, sissy-poo.”

“Are you always this annoying?”

“Yup!”

“Ugh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look at this extra long, self-indulgent mess of a chapter! I like emotions! And yes, I think "Ugh" is an appropriate way to end this chapter. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

_Drowning._

_She clawed at the unyielding water around her, ice-cold shackles pressing against her wrists and ankles. The surface was so tantalizingly close, but the chains continued to pull her downward into the depths. Thrashing against her bonds, she screamed soundlessly inside her prison, letting water fill her mouth, her entire being._

_She was drowning._

_Jasper continued to sink deeper. She redoubled her efforts, throwing the last of her strength into her thrashing, grinding her teeth. The sickeningly sweet taste of the water continued to rush in and out with each breath, despite the fact that she did not need air. But at that moment, all that she was aware of was the murky depths around her and the icy shackles, all that was holding her back from the small bit of light at the surface._

_Lapis…_

 

“Jasp?”

Jasper pried herself from her from her own mind at the sound of Amethyst’s voice, suddenly aware of the weight of the small gem leaning over her shoulder as music played in the background. The movie appeared to be over.

“Hmm?”

“You zoned out there, dude,” Amethyst replied, vaulting over Jasper’s shoulder to rewind the video. “You were talking to yourself...something about Lapis?”

“Oh.” Jasper cursed herself for letting her mind wander. The last thing she needed was for those Crystal Gems to believe that she was obsessed as well as crazy, but she didn’t feel like wading through the true explanation.

“Malachite?” Amethyst asked, as if reading her mind.

“Yeah,” Jasper answered simply.

“Something we need to be worried about?”

“No.” Realizing that might have come across as trying to drop the subject, she amended, “It’s no big deal.”

“Remember what I said,” Amethyst warned. “When I said to tell us if anything is bothering you, I meant anything.”

“I said it’s no big deal!” Jasper snapped, glaring at her irritably. Truth be told, she didn’t feel prepared to work out her feelings about Malachite, and talking about it would only recall those memories in greater clarity. Her weakness, both in her need for the fusion and her inability to get past it, was sickening.

“Okay, okay,” Amethyst conceded, holding up her palms, “but you can’t avoid Lapis forever.”

“Just watch me!” Jasper challenged, feeling the corners of her mouth pull up unexpectedly. It felt unnatural, especially after all the strife she had been through lately, but it stirred a feeling in her that made her chest constrict. Great, now smiling makes her want to cry; her emotions really were a mess.

“Alright, wise guy,” she replied with a grin, flicking a strand of Jasper’s hair playfully as she went to eject the tape.

Just then, the warp pad activated, bringing with it the sound of voices as Pearl returned with Steven and Connie, chatting animatedly. Amethyst made her way downstairs, and Jasper reluctantly followed behind her. Although she wouldn’t admit it, she had been enjoying this time alone with Amethyst, minus the invasive thoughts; or perhaps she enjoyed being alone and ignoring Amethyst. She certainly would have preferred staying in Beta for a few days to clear her head, but given the state she was in, that might not have been the best option.

Either way, the past few hours had been the calmest she had felt in a very long time. The pseudo peace she had somehow acquired by chance, however, was gone.

The children were scuffed, sweaty, and laughing breathlessly when Amethyst and Jasper joined them downstairs. Amethyst launched into a conversation with Pearl, inquiring whether she kept her promise of keeping the children from plummeting to their deaths. It seemed like a pointless question, seeing as they were right there, but Pearl seemed to think it was funny.

“Hi, Jasper!” Steven called, drawing her attention.

“…Hi.” She crossed her arms, looking down at the two.

“Um, hello, Jasper,” the human—Connie—greeted, gripping the strap attaching the sword scabbard to her back with one hand and holding the other out towards Jasper. She stared at the puny, organic appendage in disdain, unsure of what to do with it.

“You have to shake her hand,” Steven advised after an awkward few seconds, “gently.”

“well, duh, I’d rip her arm off otherwise,” Jasper replied irritably, taking the small hand in her own and shaking it lightly. Connie looked mildly terrified by the sheer size of Jasper’s fist, and Steven looked like he was going to implode from giddiness. 

“You seem like you’re feeling better,” Steven remarked.

“How?” She didn’t think she was acting very different from how she had acted before they left.

“Well, you’re talking more,” Steven replied, “and you shook Connie’s hand. Oh, and you were hanging out with Amethyst! That’s good, right?”

“Sure,” she sighed. Then, feeling the need to clarify, “yeah, I feel better than I did earlier.”

“That’s great!” Steven moved forward and hugged Jasper’s leg, and she had the overwhelming urge to kick him across the room. Connie, seemed to sense that, too, as her hand crept towards the hilt of her sword. Realizing what he was doing, Steven quickly backed up. “Heh, sorry, I’m just happy for you.”

“Um, sure,” Jasper replied, not sure how else to respond.

* * *

Amethyst snickered at Jasper’s clumsy attempts at civility as she shook Connie’s hand. She even went as far as crouching so that Connie didn’t have to stand on her toes to shake comfortably. It was oddly endearing, besides the uncomfortable look on Jasper’s face.

“What happened?” Pearl asked incredulously, watching as Steven flung his arms around Jasper’s leg.

“Well, uh, Jasper had a little meltdown after you guys left,” Amethyst answered, not untruthfully, although “little” was quite an understatement. “She has a lot of…repressed issues, ya know? I calmed her down, we talked about it, and now she feels a little better. At least, I hope she does.”

“That’s good to hear!” Pearl replied optimistically, “I can’t say I’m surprised she’s taken to you the most.”

“I don’t know, Pearl,” Amethyst laughed, glancing back at the kids, “it looks like I’ve got some competition.”

Jasper was standing back with her hands on her hips, watching Connie demonstrate some simple maneuvers with her sword as Steven cheered her on. Connie shuffled forward, jabbing at the air in short bursts before tilting the blade in a defensive gesture, before bouncing back, huffing and puffing at the extra exertion, but grinning at the positive attention. Jasper almost looked amused by the display, and not in a sadistic sort of way, as per her usual sense of humor.

“Is there anything that’s notably wrong,” Pearl pressed after a moment, “other than what we already know?”

“Yeah, but I’ll tell you and Garnet later,” Amethyst replied quickly, “I don’t wanna spoil the good vibes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there's so much dialogue and not much goes on; I was having a little trouble trying to write this chapter (I didn't do a whole lot of proofreading, so sorry if there are mistakes galore). Don't be fooled, this is only a reprieve in Jasper's normal mood. Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

“So, she’s still corrupted?!” Steven cried, distressed.

When Garnet finally returned, she had offered to watch Jasper for the rest of the evening, figuring that Amethyst would want a break. And truly, as much as Amethyst didn’t want to admit it, she needed a break from Jasper’s drama for a bit. So, as Pearl retired to her own room and Garnet took up residence on the couch, Amethyst mouthed an apology to (a very uncomfortable) Jasper and motioned for Steven to follow her into the temple. It made her feel a little bad to just leave Jasper hanging like that, but if she ever wanted to have her freedom back, she had to listen to what Garnet had to say.

“Not really!” Amethyst replied quickly. “It’s not like what happened to Centipeetle, at least. It looked like the corruption was just in her arm, and it only flared up when she got upset.”

“What are we gonna do? Should I…kiss her gem in real life or something?” By the tone of his voice, he really didn’t want to take that risk.

“I think you did all you can do, Steven,” she soothed, patting his back gently. “Maybe it’s Jasper’s turn to do something about it.”

“How?” He asked.

“That’s for her to decide, I guess, but chilling out seemed to help a lot.” She punched him lightly on the arm. “Maybe you should hug her more!”

“You think she’ll like that?” he laughed.

“Maybe! But there’s also a chance she might punt you across the house.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing take!”

* * *

The fusion was just sitting there, feet propped on the table and eyes obscured by that stupid visor. Jasper just knew she was doing this on purpose.

She hated the betrayal she felt when Amethyst took up Garnet’s offer, casting an apologetic glance back at Jasper as she entered the temple. It was even more frustrating to watch Steven follow after her; although she still disliked him for who he had been (or rather, who his mother had been), Steven was the only Crystal Gem other than Amethyst that she could tolerate without feeling the urge to punch something. Of course Amethyst would allow her to get comfortable, to let her guard down a bit, only to be left alone with Garnet. It was exactly what a Crystal Gem would do!

Jasper didn’t care what Garnet thought of her; she paced the house in a feeble attempt to blow off a little steam. It wasn’t as if she had a plan in place—she had nowhere to escape to, no Homeworld to save her—but her pride would not allow her to lose her temper in front of this fusion. Anyone but Garnet! And she could already feel the tightness building in her chest again, her shoulders tensed, her jaw clenched; it was becoming increasingly obvious that this was going to be a long evening. So, she continued to pace rapidly around the house, raking her hands through her hair and biting down on her lip to keep from screaming.

It was maddening, to say the least.

This went on for three whole hours, and Garnet didn’t move an inch. It had gotten so bad that Jasper tensed at every small noise, thinking that it was the fusion coming to test her, as she knew Garnet had planned to do all along. Unfortunately, the floorboards creaked incessantly as she stomped about the house, so the feeling occurred often. Finally, she sat down on the window seat at the opposite side of the room and huddled as far as she could in the corner, trying to find a little relief in the closeness.

Part of her wanted to run as fast and as far as she could from this tiny, creaky house, but the images the flashed through her mind of the expansive mesa surrounding Beta made her chest ache even more. There was also a primal, almost childish, urge to hide. As she pressed her head against the cool glass of the window, she wished that the earth would just swallow her up again.

A gemmed palm touched her arm, it’s cool stone pressing against her hot skin. Jasper was immediately yanked from her melodrama, and she became hyperaware of the cooling tears on her cheeks. Humiliation made her want to cry even more.

“I was going to leave you alone,” Garnet said quietly, “but you seemed miserable over here.”

Jasper hunched her shoulders to further hide her face.

“I’m not going to talk to the back of your head, Jasper.”

“Why are you talking to me at all?” Jasper replied, her voice cracking irritatingly. She turned to face Garnet; it was obvious that she had been crying, so there was no reason to hide it.

Garnet sat down beside Jasper, slipping off her shades to reveal three differently colored eyes, all reflecting concern. “I just want to know what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Garnet sighed, not believing that for a second. “Seems like you had a rough day,” she mused, removing her hand from Jasper’s shoulder.

“That’s an understatement,” Jasper admitted, grasping her arm.

It felt like forever since that morning, since she had reached her lowest point. No, that wasn’t even close to her lowest. Being unable to save her diamond, and promptly being whipped into submission in reconditioning to answer to a new diamond, that was her lowest point. Now she was just floundering on a ledge, looking down at what she had been through and feeling sorry for herself.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Hmmm…okay.” She paused for a moment, tapping the edge of her shades on her chin. “Would you like to go to Steven and Connie’s next training session?”

“Why?”

“Pearl told me that you were a little interested in Connie’s swordplay,” Garnet chuckled. “Maybe, if you’re civil for the rest of the night, we can let go out on the beach for a bit tomorrow.”

“Why are you doing this?” Jasper asked, frustrated and confused. “I’m a prisoner!”

“You hurt all of us, including Steven and Amethyst, which I can’t forgive," Garnet replied after a moment, "but I can’t ignore that you’re hurting as well. We need to keep an eye on you, so that we know that you won’t hurt anyone like that again, but you aren’t a prisoner. You’re sick and we want to help you, if you’ll just let us.” Garnet smiled gently at Jasper, to which Jasper looked away uncertainly. “So, is it a deal? Good behavior for a nice walk outside?”

Jasper hesitated, not wanting to give in so easily. It was pointless to keep fighting them, however, seeing as they were equals now. She was just as defective as they were, if not more, and she was just as stuck on this planet as the rest of them. Resisting only made things unnecessarily hard on herself.

“Sure, that sounds good," she replied, feeling a final pat on her shoulder as Garnet drifted back to her spot on the couch. She hated to admit it, but she did feel a little better after the interaction, and as pathetic as it was, she was actually looking forward to a change of scenery and a chance to really stretch her legs in a better state of mind from her dash through Beta.

The silence that descended on the room wasn't nearly as maddening as it had been before. It was almost a relief, compared to the loud thoughts and feelings that had plagued her throughout that day. She couldn't believe that it had only been earlier that day that she had escaped to Beta, and she had cried more times in that day than she had in a very long time. With thoughts of Amethyst and Garnet and the little human Connie, Jasper could feel her eyes become heavier...

* * *

Deciding to give Garnet and Jasper some time to chat, Amethyst suggested that Steven stay in the temple for a bit, to which he agreed. Although their history wasn’t the best, and Jasper’s bad experiences surrounding fusion didn’t help, Steven knew that he usually felt a little better after talking to Garnet. Besides, Jasper had to do this eventually; it was better to get it over with.

When he finally emerged from the temple, Garnet was waiting by the temple door to greet him. In the darkened house, he could see Jasper curled up on the floor, face buried in her folded arms on the window seat. She appeared to be asleep.

“Did everything go alright?” Steven whispered to Garnet.

“Just fine,” Garnet whispered back with a chuckle, ruffling his hair fondly. “You wouldn’t be opposed to spending the day with her tomorrow, would you?”

“Of course not!” Steven replied, trying to keep his voice down.

Garnet laughed again at his enthusiasm, before crouching down in front of him. “I don’t think I said so before, but I’m so proud of you, Steven. You’ve accomplished so much in such a small amount of time. You’ve done so well with Jasper.”

“Heh, well it was more Amethyst than me.” Steven rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “But thank you.”

Garnet pulled him into a hug. “Rose would have been absolutely overjoyed.”

Steven squeezed his arms around Garnet’s neck. Indeed, he could feel deep down inside, somewhere in the recesses of his soul, that his mother was beyond proud of what he had done. He was proud of himself, sure, but there was always that feeling that tickled at the edges of his consciousness that let him know that he wasn’t alone.

“Goodnight, Garnet,” he whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

“Goodnight, Steven,” she replied, before heading towards the temple.

He felt a little guilty, accepting her compliment, when he hadn’t actually helped Jasper. No, he had to remember what Amethyst said: he did all he could do. At the very least, he should be happy that he had done his best, and try to make this transition as easy as possible for Jasper. What they had to do next, what Jasper had to do, was daunting; there were several beings on Earth that Jasper needed to make amends with before carrying on, including herself. Those were all things she had to do by herself in her own way, though. All her had to do was make it a little easier…

Before getting ready for bed, Steven opened up the storage closet downstairs and pulling out the spare comforter. Steven draped the blanket over Jasper gently so as not to disturb her, pulling up over her head slightly. Just as he was moving to tuck it under her elbows, her head twisted slightly. Steven jumped away in fear, not wanting to feel the wrath of Disturbed Slumber Jasper.

“Nuh…” Jasper mumbled, before settling deeper into her arm pillow. It seemed that she still couldn’t shake those nightmares.

With a sigh of relief, Steven pulled the blanket further over Jasper’s head, making a warm little blanket tent, leaving only her forearms and an exorbitant puff of hair visible. He smiled as he watched her fingers grasp at the edge of the comforter and pull it closer. There was a muffled sigh as her shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Goodnight, Jasper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love giving Jasper naps. Goodnight, Jasper. It appears that canon is getting away from me, so from now on, I will be tagging this as canon divergent as of the last Stevenbomb, but I'll still try to integrate canon into it when I can. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

Garnet and Pearl took the news of Jasper’s much corruption better than Steven did. When Rose was around, they would have long and extensive conversations on the nature of corruption and whether it can actually be healed. Amethyst didn’t bother with these discussions, seeing as she didn’t know nearly as much as the others and she could have never dreamed that this very situation would be affect her. While disappointing, it did offer an incredible amount of hope for the future, for what Rose had worked millennia to accomplish and what Steven wished to do more than anything.

Most of the damage from the war was unfixable, but at least they had this chance to make amends.

Leaving Jasper alone with Steven was Garnet’s idea, as a test and as a break from the close guard they had been keeping. After Jasper had calmed down a bit with their talk, Garnet had left her alone for the rest of the evening, observing as Jasper physically relaxed and eventually fell asleep. Obviously, space that was free of unresolved conflict was just what Jasper needed. Besides, her future vision showed that the chances of Jasper slipping out of the house--or even the chances of her waking before morning--were surprisingly slim. Amethyst wasn’t entirely inclined to trust Jasper, after the events of the day before, but if Garnet was confident with the projected outcome, then it was probably fine.

To her relief, as she exited the temple the following morning, nothing was amiss. Jasper was exactly where Garnet had left her the night before, now fully awake and sitting cross-legged on the floor, a blanket crumpled around her. She leaned on her elbows on the window seat, staring out the window and absently tugging at her hair. Steven was toasting bagels in the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from his tired eyes, singing a poppy tune from the radio.

“Mornin'," Amethyst drawled, sidling up to where Jasper was sitting.

Jasper grunted a greeting, hardly breaking her concentration on the dawning sun outside. So intense was her gaze that her irises seemed to glow with the sun’s fire, contradictory to the blankness in her stare. She was inside her own head again.

“Good morning, Amethyst!” Steven greeted from the kitchen, spreading cream cheese over a freshly-toasted bagel. “Oh, do you guys want some breakfast?”

“What do ya say, Jasp? Wanna try eating?” Amethyst laughed, nudging her playfully.

"No...thanks," Jasper replied with a disgusted look on her face, tacking the "thanks" to the end as an afterthought. At least she tried to be civil.

"But it's fuuuuuun," Amethyst laughed, poking Jasper in the side, a ticklish spot for Amethyst.

Jasper made a choking noise and slapped Amethyst's hand away. "You'd think so," Jasper replied, grinning. Gosh, this feeling was nice; playing around with Jasper and having Jasper respond positively--in her own way, of course--was a small thing that Amethyst had wanted all along, and these little moments made all the strife worth it. She prodded her side again, to which Jasper responded by grasping Amethyst's head with her hand (her palm covered Amethyst's entire face) and holding her away at arm's length. Amethyst flailed her arms uselessly, her giggled muffled by Jasper's palm.

“Hey, uh, not to bring up an uncomfortable topic or anything,” Steven began hesitantly over a mouthful of bread, “but did Malachite...eat the Watermelon Stevens? The little plant guys on that island she was chained to?”

“Huh? No,” Jasper replied, waving her hand lazily and letting it slap back on the window seat. “Just chewed them up and spit them out.”

“Well…that’s, um, something.” Steven took another bite of his bagel, wondering if he would regret what he was going to ask next. "Why? I mean, who was in control, who did that?"

"Malachite was in control," Jasper answered simply.

"But how? Wouldn't that mean that you and...Lapis..." He hesitated mentioning Lapis, not wanting to start something he wasn't prepared to deal with. "Wouldn't it mean that you guys were in sync?"

"We were both mad and wanting to fight, so I guess we were," Jasper replied, surprisingly calm, "Lapis knew you and I hated you, and it manifested into that."

"Oh." It was an honest answer delivered in a neutral tone, but something about the exchange made Steven look worriedly at Jasper. "Do...do you hate me now?"

Too Amethyst's surprise, it looked like she was actually considering the question, as if looking for any reasons to hate him. Finding none, she she replied begrudgingly, "no, I guess not."

This seemed to be a good enough answer to Steven, as he cheered happily, much to Jasper's embarrassment and Amethyst's amusement.

"Awww, that has to be the sweetest thing you've ever said Jasper!" she cried, throwing her arms around Jasper's neck before falling into a fit of laughter.

They carried on like this for most of the day, with lighter topics than that of Malachite or Lapis, the past or the future.

 

Finally, acting as the harbinger or bad news, the warp pad activated, the dissipating light revealing Peridot, uninvited. Amethyst felt a little twinge of guilt at not visiting her sooner and explaining the situation at length, but she had been busy keeping Jasper in check, and she didn't want to end up talking to Lapis about it, or worse: inspire her to go confront Jasper prematurely. Now certainly wasn't the time.

Peridot appeared to be pretending not to be nervous, her hands clasped behind her back in a professional manner that would have made Amethyst snicker if she wasn’t worried about how Jasper would react, especially to the insulting things that tended to jump out of Peridot’s uncensored mouth.

“Hello, Steven, Amethyst,” Peridot stated coolly, taking one big step off the warp pad. Unfortunately, she miscalculated the distance between her foot and the ground, and she ended up in a heap on the floor. Throwing herself into a sitting position, she assumed the same incredibly fake tone and added, “oh, I didn’t see you there, Jasper.”

Jasper groaned loudly, smacking her palm against her forehead in irritation. Steven had convinced—more like pestered—her into playing a card game with him at the coffee table, one that she refused to learn the rules of, but Amethyst had a feeling she would rather be doing that than interacting with the small, green gem. Throwing down her cards, much to Steven’s disappointment, she turned to glare at her.

Peridot paid her no attention. “So, Amethyst, how have things been going with…you know who?” She finished in a stage-whisper.

“Ugh, cut it out, Peri, she’s right there,” Amethyst sighed. “She’s alright, right Jasp?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jasper replied testily.

“Haven’t been causing any trouble, have you, Jasper?” Peridot pressed.

“Does it look like I’ve been causing trouble?”

Peridot made her way to Jasper’s side, comically small against Jasper’s broad frame, and proceeded to pat her shoulder, tutting sympathetically. Amethyst began to wonder if she was going to have to physically break this up, because she only seemed to be trying to get on Jasper's nerves.

“I know that this transition from Homeworld to life on Earth is difficult,” Peridot continued, "I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes. You just have to try your best and some day you can be a Crystal Gem like me!”

Jasper cast her a withering look, wrenching her shoulder away. “Let’s get a few things straight: I’m older than you, I have spent way more time on this planet, and I’m not interested in joining a bunch of traitors.”

Peridot was about to make a retort, probably about how she’s smarter and knows more about modern humans, when Amethyst intervened. “Just drop it, Peridot. She’s been cooperating, and that’s all we’re asking from her. She doesn’t have to join us if she doesn’t want to, she just can’t go around hurting people.”

“Oh, alright! But remember Jasper: I’ve got my eye on you.” She pointed sternly at Jasper, her finger mere inches from Jasper’s gem. She almost looked tempted to bite the offending digit, but thankfully she restrained herself.

* * *

 

 It was a blustery day, the wind kicking up choppy waves and sand-blasting everything at ground level. Jasper appreciated the noise, because it drowned out the loud thoughts in her mind, made all the louder at the sight of the ocean. She wouldn't say that she had developed an aversion to the ocean since Malachite, but it led to a downward spiral of thoughts that left her feeling empty at best and absolutely worthless at worst. The oppressive sun reflecting blindingly off the white sand and the grains of sand catching in her eyes were much more preferable to her own mind. It was one of the things that distracted her from similar thoughts in Beta, all those years ago.

The howling wind and crashing waves also drowned out Peridot's incessant chatter. She also seemed to behave herself more when Garnet and Pearl were around, which was a bonus.

“Having fun?” Garnet laughed from behind jasper.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jasper asked defensively, wondering what was so funny.

“You’ve hardly budged from that spot for the past 20 minutes,” she replied, pointing at Jasper’s feet, which were half buried in sand. “Do you want to go back in?”

“No!” Jasper said quickly, startling herself with the urgency in her voice. “N-no, I’m just thinking.” She crossed her arms defensively, then uncrossed them irritably, not wanting to show weakness.

“Oh, okay, I understand.” The amusement in Garnet’s voice was infuriating, but not unwarranted. Jasper knew she was being unreasonable, even after she was given some semblance of what she wanted.

Not wanting to continue the conversation, Jasper began to pace the length of the temple’s shadow, kicking up sand as she shifted into a sprint. In her peripheral vision, she could see Steven laughing at one of Peridot’s jokes—the little traitor—on the porch, Garnet watching from where Jasper left her, Pearl fretting about the sand that was doing damage to the paint on the house, and Amethyst lounging under the house with that furry pink beast of Steven’s. It was yet another reminder of Jasper’s failure.

She moved on to stretching, pulling her arms up and over her head, feeling non-existent joints cracking as she worked out the tension that had built up from weeks of idleness. Moving her head from side to side elicited the same pleasantly disconcerting sound. She popped her knuckles for good measure, remembering how Peridot hated when she did that. For a moment, a petty part of her wished that the wind would die down for a second, just so she could bother the technician.

As if the wind had listened to her thoughts soon after the feeling had already passed, the wind calmed a bit.

“…uncooperative with my research!” Peridot was saying, her reedy voice carrying across the beach. “I would ask her a question and all she would give me was the bare minimum, at that. No details, no elaboration, nothing! I would ask her things like what is the terrain like in Beta, how many escape routes are there in case of an emergency, what is your impression of the Prime Kindergarten, and all she would give me is some variation of ‘I don’t know,’ or more accurately, ‘I don’t care.’ It was exhausting!”

Jasper was seething for no good reason. Jasper  _had_  been uncooperative most of the time, but her impertinent answers were based in truth. The Betas rarely ventured outside their kindergarten, so busy were they at trying to keep it out of enemy hands, and Prime had been shut down months before the siege on Beta that forced its inhabitants to be pulled from the ground a much too early. And she didn’t care to talk about her ruined kindergarten anyway.

“She must have cooperated at some point,” Pearl offered, taking this chance to sweep away the debris, “seeing how she was ordered by Yellow Diamond to help you.”

“Of course, she helped sometimes,” Peridot replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. “But it was usually to offer information that I could have found myself while sifting through old logs. I didn’t report this behavior to her Agate, though. I knew she would never hear the end of it otherwise.”

“Why?” Steven asked, sickeningly naïve. “Isn’t she supposed to be perfect? The ‘ultimate quartz’? Wouldn’t they be a little more lenient with her?”

“Not even close!” Peridot cried. Jasper wanted to throw her in the ocean, especially after what she knew Peridot was going to say next. “I’ve told you that she was the only Earth-made gem on Homeworld. I feel that, hypothetically, if she had come from Prime, she might have been treated a little differently, but her reputation of best of the worst isn’t very impressive to the higher ups.”

 _Shut up, shut up, shut up!_  Jasper screamed in her head, willing Peridot to leave it at that.

“It’s common knowledge, really. Sure, her reputation is certainly impressive, and she’s one of the strongest quartzes I’ve ever encountered, but facts are facts. Gems made in sandstone require a longer incubation period in order to achieve average hardness according to their gem type. These gems were pulled about a hundred and fifty years ahead of schedule. Yes, Jasper’s physical form is perfect—better than perfect, even!—but, logically speaking, her gem is just as weak as the gems who emerged around her. Perhaps that’s why she has a visor on her helmet.”

Jasper was in shock. To have one of her greatest insecurities laid bare so casually, so completely, in front of these gems that she didn’t exactly trust…it was humiliating. She brushed her hand against her gem before rubbing at the grit in her eyes.  _Don’t cry_ , she commanded herself angrily. Before she could stop herself, Jasper whirled around to face the group.

“Why don’t you say that to my face?!” She all but screamed at Peridot, who clamped her mouth shut guiltily.

“I didn’t mean anything by it!” Peridot called back desperately. “I was just s-stating…facts…” The excuse died as she said it, catching herself being insensitive yet again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think-“

“Didn’t think I was listening?” Jasper growled aggressively.

“I didn’t think it mattered so much,” Peridot answered. “I mean, it’s not your fault your kindergarten was constructed so poorly. That can be blamed completely on the incompetence of the Peridots in charge and the pressure of time.”

The damage had already been done, Peridot had opened another old wound for Jasper to think about, to obsess over. She pulled her hair in frustration, tired of feeling like she was going around in circles, always trying to be better than everyone expected her to be, better than her naysayers, yet she could never, NEVER be good enough.

Her face burning with shame and anger, hot tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, Jasper turned away and walked towards shore, staring out over the ocean. For the first time since she was uncorrupted, the memory of Malachite gave her an unhealthy kind of comfort. At least, for just a moment, she had been strong enough to overpower Lapis, against all odds. It didn't hold the honorific importance that it had in her hunt for Lapis after Malchite unfused, but for that moment, it took a little bit of the sting away.

No one bothered her for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! This one's a doozy. I'd say we're getting to the real conflict of this story: Jasper's unwillingness to face her demons, now that she has lost so completely, contradictory to how she felt before being corrupted. Anyways, thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Jasper refused to speak to anyone, even dropping the petty “yes, Pearl’s” and “yes, Garnet’s” in favor of silence, sulking. They had agreed to give Jasper some space to sort out her feelings, but as one day had turned to two, and two to three, the silence had become deafening. Amethyst wanted to empathize, shoulder Jasper’s pain and help her heal, but all she could muster was frustration, bordering on anger. She saw this behavior as an affront not only to herself, but to Jasper as well, denying herself of any help. Without the slightest difficulty, Amethyst could admit that she loved Jasper too much to let her do this to herself.

Amethyst wanted nothing more than to slap some sense into her and dish out a bit of tough love, if it wasn’t a sure-fire way to make things worse.

“I’m going,” Amethyst said from the warp, looking back at jasper, sitting in her new favorite corner by the window, as far away from the others as possible.

Jasper didn’t even look in her direction.

“I’m going to talk to Peridot,” Amethyst clarified, louder.

Her shoulders tensed, but again, no answer.

She couldn’t keep it in any longer. “You better be in a better mood when I get back!” She yelled, startling Steven, who was watching the two from his loft.

“Amethyst…” he whispered, as if Jasper couldn’t hear him, “Be nice.”

“No!” She cried, glaring pointedly at Jasper’s back. “I’m tired of being nice. I’ve been nice this whole time! I don’t like being ignored, Jasper, and I haven’t done anything to deserve this! I'm trying to help you!”

Again, there was no answer. With a huff, Amethyst activated the warp pad, wishing that she could slam a door to better make her point, but an abrupt exit would have to do. As she was leaving, however, the slump in Jasper’s shoulders made her anger wane for a moment, and guilt began to gnaw at her insides. No, she couldn’t lose face now. Nobody said that recovery was going to be easy, and jasper was just going to have to accept that.

Amethyst was going to have to accept that.

The light dissipated around her, revealing the barn in the distance. Setting her jaw in determination, Amethyst stalked toward it, preparing herself for confrontation. There was no escaping it now.

Every time she visited the barn, there was a new feature on display, usually hanging at odd—sometimes improbable—angles on the side of the building, or half-buried in the yard. When she approached it this time, however, she found multiple things in various states of incomplete, scattered around haphazardly. At the center of it all, she found Peridot staring glumly at the ground, with Lapis fluttering above her, coming to rest on the side of the truck protruding from the barn’s wall.

Lapis noticed her first. “Oh, Amethyst,” she said with little enthusiasm, twisting her skirt agitatedly in her fists, or maybe she was just nervous?

"I guess Peridot told you everything?" Amethyst questioned, looking up at the blue gem. She wasn't sure if she should be irritated or relieved.

"She told me about Jasper and what happened the other day, yes," she replied evenly. Then, with greater hesitation, "should I...make myself scarce?"

Amethyst looked up at her, surprised. “No, it’s fine, dude. Really. Maybe you can help us work this out, seeing how you…ya know…shared a mind with Jasper…”

This didn’t seem to be the answer Lapis was expecting, but she obliged nonetheless, summoning her water wings and lowering herself down to the ground to join them. She motioned toward some crates, positioned around the remnants of a campfire that was most likely inspired by Camp Pining Hearts. They all sat down, gazing awkwardly around at one another.

Finally, Amethyst cleared her throat and turned to Peridot. "Okay, I need you to tell me why you said what you said. No excuses."

Peridot twiddled her thumbs a bit, looking away. “I was stating a fact, like I said. I know it may have come across as insensitive—“

“It _was_ insensitive,” Amethyst interrupted, “and I said no excuses.”

"I don't know why I said it, then!" Peridot cried exasperatedly. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Jasper is worse off than when she was first uncorrupted! She won't talk to anyone, even me!" Amethyst exploded. "Why is she being like this? I know this stuff she's dealing with has been festering for awhile, but I just  _can't_ figure out why she's acting like this over something that you said! It's not like you're opinion matters any more than anyone else, right? You guys aren't friends or anything, are you?"

“When she was first assigned to me," Peridot replied, looking at her feet, "I was given all of her records to aid in my research, all of her personal information, as well as the records of a few of her fallen comrades, or maybe they aren’t so…fallen, given what you’ve told me about the zoo. All of them have v-varying strengths in their physical forms...but their gems are as similar as any like gem types from the same kindergarten. Strong body, weak gem, that's what it says in plain-speak." She pressed her hands against her face. "I'm the only one of us who would know that definitively, and I she knows that. I revealed something that no one else on this planet would have known. I feel like I've somehow betrayed her trust, if she even trusted me in the first place."

To Amethyst, it seemed like such a minor issue, that there must have been more to the story. Jasper's downward spiral since then had to of been invoked by something greater than the fact that her gem was more breakable than others. It was a nonissue, considering it was protected by her helmet when she was in danger, and the battering ram at the end made it all the more difficult to reach. And her gem was small, anyway, making it less of a target. Besides, she had survived a whole war and whatever abuse she may have endured on Homeworld with so much as a scratch, something that amethyst couldn't even come close to claiming; if they didn't have Rose, she would have shattered a hundred times over her lifetime.

"Are you sure there isn't more to it?" Amethyst asked stubbornly, unwilling to forgive Peridot so quickly.

Peridot shook her head fervently. "That is all I know, yes." 

“Do you have anything to add?” Amethyst asked, turning to Lapis.

She thought about it for a long moment, a distant look on her face. Again, there was something about her expression that was hard to read, a mixture of emotions that Amethyst couldn't hope to--and frankly didn't want to--understand. There was one thing that Amethyst knew for sure, however: Lapis was just as affected by her time with Jasper as Jasper was with her.

"After a while," Lapis finally replied, quietly, "she was practically begging for me to hold her down, just to give her a challenge, I guess. It made me so,  _so mad_ that she was actually enjoying what I was doing to her! But I did what she wanted, because it was the only way I could control her, and I got this sick satisfaction out of drowning her." She sucked in her breath, swallowed hard, and continued. "And then she would fight me until she exhausted herself, or until she broke the surface to tell me to do it again. This happened over and over and over again, months and months...I don't wanna talk about it anymore." With that, she clasped her elbows, forming a little barrier with her thin forearms between herself and the others.

"It all comes back to self-esteem," Amethyst affirmed tiredly. Lapis and Peridot nodded solemnly. "She's been avoiding this subject for forever, so what are we supposed to do about it? I've tried talking to her."

"If she doesn't want to talk to you, then she definitely doesn't want to talk to me!" Peridot replied.

"I'll talk to her," Lapis offered from behind her barrier, her jaw set.

"No way!" Amethyst argued. "I don't trust you guys being in the same place. Garnet and Pearl wouldn't be okay with it, either. Not yet."

"I'm part of her whole problem now!" Lapis shouted, raising her voice for the first time in this interaction. "I'm the only one who's seen her at her most vulnerable! And...and I'm the only one who hasn't seen her yet," she finished quietly, the fight petering out of her.

This had been what Amethyst was afraid of, and the worst part of it was she couldn't say no. It was unfair to Lapis to deny her the opportunity to make up for what she did and to clear her conscious. Of all of Jasper's problems, this was the only one they could face head-on, and yet...

"Not yet, Lapis," Amethyst replied. At her disappointed expression, she continued, "you need to think long and hard about what you need to say to her, first, and I need to ask the others about it. You understand why we don't trust you two, together, right?"

She nodded yes.

"Good. Now take a week to come up with a good argument, and I'll tell you what's gonna happen next, okay?"

She nodded again.

Amethyst sighed. This wasn't what she came here to do, and she was going to leave without a solution to her problem, only more dead ends. It was obvious that Jasper's feelings went deeper than she could even fathom with her relatively care-free background. It was going to take more than a couple good moments for Jasper to come to terms with these feelings, and the mere thought of it made Amethyst tired. Maybe  _she_ needed a nap, if only to be rid of the negativity that's been stinking up the house for the past few days, or even the past few weeks. Her mental health was just as important as Jasper's and, as Jasper's crutch, she couldn't afford to be at her wit's end.

With that, she made her way back to the house empty-handed and more disheartened than when she left.

 

"I asked you a simple question!" She heard Pearl squawk. Fearing that Jasper had finally snapped, Amethyst sprinted off the warp pad and into the house, only to freeze in place at the sight before her.

There was Pearl, fists on her hips, glaring down at Jasper, right where Amethyst had left her. Jasper's expression was catlike, one that had been bothered one too many times; if she had cat ears, they would have fallen forward irritably. Steven was watching the spectacle in  wonder. No one noticed her.

"So, are you going to improve your attitude or not? Because you're certainly not going to disrupt Steven and Connie's training with this nonsense!" She cried, pointing accusingly at her.

"I don't care!" Jasper snapped back, her voice taking on that high-pitched, defensive tone that said she was lying.

"Oh, well it didn't seem that way last week!" Pearl fired back, unfazed. "Or were you just humoring Connie by acting interested, was that it?"

"That little human doesn't know the first thing about combat!"

"That 'little human,'" Pearl emphasized with sarcastic air-quotes, "has more discipline than you can even hope for, and I'm her teacher." She leaned forward, getting in Jasper's face, a bold move considering the large gem could snap her in half like a twig. "Shape up, or you can just sulk in here for the rest of eternity!"

"I'm not sulking!" Jasper cried, her lying-voice giving her away.

"Oh, honestly! You sound like a child! However, Steven never pouted like this when he was younger."

Jasper looked as if she wanted to deny that she was "pouting" as well, but she seemed to decide against it. The accusation of being childish seemed to bring her to her senses a bit.

"So, what will it be?"Pearl pressed, nearly bent double as she glared at Jasper, her long nose nearly touching Jasper's gem.

Jasper glared back for a moment, and Amethyst was worried that she was going to spit in her face or something. To her surprise, she was the first to break eye-contact, looking down at the floor. She took a deep breath and let it out in a rush, defeated.

"Fine," she replied simply.

"Good, now get up and I'll put you to work. You absolutely will not return to this corner for the rest of the evening!" Pearl declared briskly, tugging at Jasper's arm as she guided her into the kitchen. Her spindly fingers barely wrapped halfway around her wrist. This was the kind of tough love Amethyst couldn't even hope to accomplish; it seemed, as Rose's right-hand gem, Pearl had some experience dealing with disheartened soldiers.

"Um, I'm back," Amethyst called awkwardly.

"Oh, Amethyst!" Pearl replied. " I didn't hear the warp activate. How are things?"

"Peridot is  _really_ sorry," Amethyst said sincerely, "and she hopes that Jasper can forgive her."

Jasper crossed her arms, only to uncross them as Pearl handed her a mixing bowl and a skillet. When Pearl threw her a look, she rolled her eyes and replied, "I don't forgive her, but I guess...I don't blame her, either." She shrugged. "I mean, she's not wrong. I'm the worst."

"Shut up," Amethyst replied, not unkindly. "We're all the worst. That's why we're here and not on Homeworld."

"I'm the worst of the worst!" Steven piped in, not wanting to be left out. "I inherited it from my mom."

Jasper bit back a smirk--Amethyst could see her jaw working--as she let Pearl begin to boss her around, having her help make dinner. It was such a mundane task, contrasting so completely from the heavy tension that had been hanging over all of them, and Amethyst couldn't help but feel the whiplash. Watching her big sis fumbling around with the tiny utensils, trying and failing to follow Pearl's rapid-fire instructions, sometimes on purpose, was all too humorous to be the same gem who had been moping around about her self worth for days.

As odd as it seemed, perhaps Pearl was good for her. Amethyst was more than willing to bestow some of her sisterly duties onto Pearl for the evening, because she was beat. With the sounds and smells of preparing food and general chatter, Amethyst dozed off on the couch, hoping for a more pleasant tomorrow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! I'm really looking forward to delving into Pearl and Jasper's dynamic. I'm also not looking forward to typing up the unpleasantness that will be Jasper and Lapis' eventual interaction. Either way, I've got some things planned. Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Steven was over the moon with excitement, letting his shield hover expectantly before him, poised for action beside his best friend, his bubble-buddy-turned-battle-buddy. He glanced at Connie, watching as she wrapped tape around her palms as Pearl had instructed her, his mother’s sword hanging off of her shoulder. As corny as it seemed, it struck him as such a powerful image; she was someone he could count on when things got rough.

With a chuckle, he began to wonder if his mother ever got this sentimental about Pearl. From what he had learned of her personality, he figured she probably did.

“Hey, Connie, you ready?” He asked with a grin.

She tucked the end of the tape, flexing her small fist. “You know it!”

He leaned in closer. “Are your parents ready?”

“Probably not,” Connie replied with less conviction, “but I’m sure they’ll be supportive, anyway!”

“Heh, me too!”

It had started out as a simple training session, the same as any other, but as the day grew closer, they had eventually amassed a small audience. With the offer of bringing Jasper along, Amethyst just had to come, too. Garnet decided to tag along to make sure nothing went awry, as well as watch her favorite children (and possible fusion) do battle. With the Crystal Gems going, Steven just had to invite his dad, who gladly accepted. Connie figured that now was as good a time as any to have her parents see what she was capable of, and they tentatively agreed to tag along. Steven invited Peridot and Lapis out of guilt at the last minute; Peridot agreed and Lapis said she would think about it and show up later.

It made for an interesting warp, to say the least. Garnet had to hold the humans in a bear hug to keep them from flying out of the warp stream, and Peridot and Jasper had to stand on opposite ends of the group. Pearl held Steven and Connie’s hands in the front, more for the parents’ sakes than their own.

Everyone sat spread across the seats of the arena, Connie’s parents practically hiding behind Greg, Garnet sitting next to Peridot and patting her head absently, Amethyst and Jasper in the front row, acting as a shield for the humans in case of flying weapons and/or enemies.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Pearl cried, clapping her hands together as she approached the duo. “Shall we begin?”

“Not yet,” Steven replied, scanning the horizon. “Lapis isn’t here yet.”

Connie cast an uncertain glance at Jasper. “Are you sure she’s coming? I mean-“

“Lapis!” He heard Peridot cry, and lo and behold, there she was. She swooped down next to the small green gem, settling down beside her. She first waved at Steven, and then to her fellow “Crystal Temp” Connie, smiling uncomfortably as Peridot jabbered on about everything that had happened in her absence. Steven watched her intently as she glanced discretely at Jasper, who was doing the same—albeit not-so-discreetly but equally as uncomfortable—before quickly looking away.

At least they weren’t fighting.

“Steven? Did you hear me?” He heard Pearl ask.

“Huh? Oh, um, no,” he replied, slightly embarrassed.

Pearl sighed good-naturedly. “Shall we get started _now_?” Connie was now bouncing on her toes, ready to go.

“Let’s do this!” Steven exclaimed.

 

Jasper could sense Lapis’ presence before she even made herself known, swooping around uncertainly just out of sight in front of the arena. As desperately as she tried to ignore it, there was still a lasting bond between them that told her she was near. There were even times, when Jasper wasn’t preoccupied, when she could get a faint sense of lapis all the way at the barn, several miles away.

 _Don’t look_ , Jasper instructed herself sternly, focusing on Steven and Connie as they got into position, standing back-to-back. Stance wide, weapons poised for attack.

“Everyone!” Pearl called, getting the attention of her audience. “As you all know, Steven and Connie have decided to forego their training for the day in order to give you an intense demonstration of their abilities.” She looked back at the two children momentarily with a smile. “Before we begin, I just want to say that I’m extremely proud of my pupils, both as a mentor and as a caretaker, and I know they can’t wait to show you what they can do. Oh, and please be mindful of any…flying weaponry, as these sessions can get a little intense. Enjoy!”

Jasper could hear Connie’s parents fret nervously from behind her as Greg attempted to calm them.

With that, she spun elegantly to face the children, as gems and humans alike waited excitedly. After a short exchange between them, she twirled once, pressed her index fingers to either side of her gem, and summoned ten holographic projections of herself, letting them surround their quarry.

There was a flurry of movement as Steven moved to cover Connie from an onslaught of slashes, using his powerful bubble shield. She braced herself close to the ground, gathering enough energy and, right as she seemed to give the order, Steven dropped the shield and she shot out into the open, slashing through two projections at once, swinging Rose’s sword like it was nothing. In one swift movement, she managed to block a third that was running at her, while Steven continued to fend off the other seven, trying to make himself an immovable object. His size didn’t work in his favor, but he seemed to almost make up for it with his strength. Almost.

Steven slid across the improbably smooth, ancient tile before finally breaking the contact and letting the clones barrel past as he rushed to Connie. She was in the process of dispatching a third enemy, with a couple advancing on her rapidly.

“Duck!” He cried. As Connie rolled to the ground, Steven snatched his shield from the air and tossed it at one enemy, while manifesting a new shield to project at the other. This time, he held it aloft in the air and kicked it hard, sending the second projection over the edge. Jasper could hear Pearl grumble about how she would have to retrieve its sword afterwards.

Five down, five to go.

“Steven! Shield!” Connie ordered, turning her sword flat-side up momentarily. Steven nodded in understanding, holding his shield out flat as Connie sprinted towards him, springing from the makeshift platform to cleave the sixth enemy in half.

Jasper didn’t even notice the reactions of the others around her, besides Amethyst’s persistent hand shaking her arm excitedly. She was completely enthralled by their performance, following their every move, finding both strengths and weaknesses. This last stunt was creative and impressive, sure, but the pause had let the other enemies catch up effectively cornering them at the edge of the gaping hole in the arena, leading to the inner network or short, broken tunnels below.

“What’s going on?” Connie’s mother cried, getting up from her seat.

“They’re fine,” Pearl replied distractedly, waving her back as she watched the children nervously.

Suddenly, the four projections became two larger Pearls, dual-wielding identical sabers as they closed in on the children. There was nowhere to go but down. Steven threw up his shield as Connie escaped into the small labyrinth, but the fusions were too tall for him to defend effectively. Once again, he let them slip past his shield as he sprang into the air and began to float down slowly—an ability that Jasper had been unaware he possessed—as he scanned the hole for Connie.

And then he was gone. They could faintly hear the sounds of battle below the Arena, with no indication of who was winning.

“Is nobody going to do something?!” Connie’s mother cried hysterically, now scrambling over the seats to go retrieve her daughter. Pearl was still concentrating, her gaze shifting slightly as the noises moved from one area to another, obviously tracking her projections. Pearl wasn’t particularly worried.

Jasper reached out to catch the human before she could reach the ground, holding her back as she tried to struggle out of her grasp. She looked back at the human’s…mate, she supposed, who seemed to be frozen in shock.

There was an explosion, and three beings crashed through the floor of the arena, leaving a new hole in the ground. Mere feet from the audience was the two Pearl fusions, faced off with Stevonnie, the fusion that had defeated Jasper on the beach. Jasper tried not to be offended by their presence and focused merely on their ability to wield a sword and shield so deftly, even against two highly-skilled enemies.

They slashed and blocked four swords at once, guiding the fusions away from the audience and into open space. Finding an opening, roundhouse kicked one, driving her into the ground and plunging their sword through her chest, before swiftly dispatching the components.

It was child’s play after that, and with a flourish they sprang into the air, hovered for a bit as the projection watched in shock, and dove into it sword-first with enough force to destroy both fusees at once.

The spectacle was over.

Stevonnie stood before the audience, gasping and exhilarated and exhausted all at once. Feeling that the audience could use a better finale than that, they bowed forward formally as Pearl had instructed them, grinning widely. That seemed to break the spell as everyone clapped and cheered; Jasper couldn’t help but be impressed at the amount of talent these small beings possessed, especially Connie, being a young human with only about a year and a half of training.

“What?!” She heard the mother all but scream. Jasper continued to hold onto her, thinking that she might pass out from shock at any moment.

Stevonnie looked up at the voice in fear, realizing that they had made a grave mistake, and the two children quickly unfused, falling unceremoniously on the ground.

“Mom, I can explain!” Connie exclaimed, dropping the sword as she fumbled through her words, “well, I can’t really explain it very well, but maybe Garnet-“

“No! No, it’s fine,” she replied, tugging futilely at Jasper’s arm one last time, “later, w-we’ll talk later. Need to sit down.” Jasper complied, lowering her slowly beside her and scooting away to give her room. Connie’s father was finally broken from his stupor as he made his way to her, patting her back gently, while still trying to comprehend what he just saw.

“Was it…I mean, did you…” Connie started uncertainly.

“You did amazing, sweetie,” her mother replied, smiling weakly.

“She’s excelled to a level of swordsmanship that many humans take decades to reach,” Pearl added, “and she’s only been at this for about a year and a half. If you don’t mind my asking, what is your ancestry?”

Connie’s parents looked at one another for a moment before Connie’s father answered, “we haven’t looked very deeply into our ancestry, but Priyanka’s family has been involved in the medical field for as long as anyone can remember. Most of her family lives in India.”

“And what about yours?”

“I only know a small bit of my family, so I’m not sure; I do know that my father is Indian, and my mother is Japanese,” he replied with a grin, “so maybe our daughter is a little samurai.” Connie seemed thoroughly embarrassed, but happy for the high praise from both her parents and her mentor.

“Hey, dad, what did you think?” She heard Steven ask beside her.

“I’m blown away, kiddo!” Greg replied from behind.

“You guys make a great team,” Amethyst added, ruffling his hair.

Steven stood in front of Jasper at that point, looking at her nervously. “What about you, Jasper?”

Jasper was considering being brutally honest—this child was one to appreciate honestly, after all—but a warning glare from Amethyst told her to be nice for once. She considered Steven for a moment, picking out good points to pair with the bad.

“It was pretty good,” Jasper finally answered, which seemed to be high praise to Steven, judging by the way he beamed. “You and your human friend _are_ a cohesive team, and it’s impressive how much skill you have with so little training. But you’re too restricted with your fighting.”

“What do you mean?” Steven asked, clearing confused. “I use my shield to defend, and sometimes I attack with it. What else do I need to do?”

“That’s not what I mean,” Jasper sighed, standing up. She was actually doing this; she was actually teaching Rose Quartz’s child how to fight like a soldier. “Summon your weapon,” she instructed, positioning herself in front of him, “and hold it like your blocking me.”

“Like this?” He replied, let his shield hover gently before him.

Jasper punched the center of his shield, just hard enough to knock it askew and push Steven back, grinding his heels into the ground. “No.” She let him get back into position and change his stance before punching again, watching as he nearly fell backwards at the force.

“Jasp, what are you doing?” Amethyst asked, a bemused expression on her face.

“Shut up,” Jasper replied, waiting for Steven to get his bearings again. This time, crouched with equal weight on both feet, the force of Jasper’s punch barely budged him. At least he could learn to adjust his defense, even if she was holding back. “That’s a little better, but you’re too tense, now. You and Connie work well as a team, but what are you going to do if it’s just you?”

“I can defend myself!” Steven replied vaguely, twisting his shield in his hands.

“No, you can’t,” Jasper argued, “not when there’s enemies attacking from all sides, and there’s no one to help you. You have to learn to fight and defend at the same time, just like your fusion does.”

“Like…learn how to wield a sword?” He didn’t seem comfortable with that idea.

Jasper growled in frustration at his denseness. “No! I mean you need learn to fight to your greatest potential! You’re too weak to fight off everyone at once, but you can’t hide behind a shield forever.”

“I…huh…”

Steven thought about it for a moment, seeing truth in her statement. His shoulders slumped a little, as if she had defeated him instead of giving him valuable instruction on how to survive on the battlefield. She softened her gaze a bit, crouching down at his level; she wasn’t used to being gentle or encouraging, having seen very little of it in her life, so she awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder, which was too small for her massive palm.

“You aren’t bad,” Jasper offered, feeling the unwanted attention from everyone around her, “but in the heat of battle, Connie might not be there to cover you if you need it. You’re very strong—for a human…half-human—you just need to…grow into it, essentially. Use it to your advantage, you know?”

“Did that happen to you?” Steven asked unexpectedly, looking up at her expectantly. “Did you have to fight alone a lot?”

She was unprepared for the question. “Well…of course,” she replied, trying to keep from looking too agitated. “After the raid at Beta, we didn’t have enough soldiers to defend the kindergarten evenly. At times, it would get to be ten or twenty to one, and we would just have to bide our time until reinforcements showed up, if calling them was even an option. We had to learn to save ourselves, because after every battle, there was always less and less of us and more of them.”

Jasper didn’t mean to share this much, and she instantly regretted it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had acknowledged that this happened, but saying it out loud made the pain all too real, as if she were still a young soldier fighting for her life, among gems that depended on her to be ever stronger than the enemy. The matching looks of pity on Steven and Amethyst’s faces didn’t help to ease the pain.

It hurt, but in a way, it felt liberating. For the first time in her life, she was allowed to feel this pain, allowed to feel sad for the sisters she lost and for the ones that still suffer.

“Jasper?” Pearl’s cool, slim fingers brushed against her arm. “I think you made a great point about Steven’s abilities; I agree.” She paused for a moment, waiting for Jasper to look at her. Once she had her attention, she continued, “you’re the only one here with full quartz military training. Would you like to help with Steven’s training?”

She didn’t like the sound of that, helping the son of Rose Quartz grow more competent in his powers to defend against Homeworld. It felt like sacrilege, a scourge on Pink Diamond’s memory but, despite her initial feelings, there was a deep, grossly maternal part of her that wanted to help Steven succeed and grow. With a sigh, she replied, “I guess it’s something to do.”

“Excellent!” Pearl exclaimed, patting her arm a couple times before drifting back to Connie’s parents.

Amethyst chuckled at the exchange, tugging on Jasper’s hair playfully. “Look who got a Pearl Point.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jasper asked irritably.

“Don’t get me started!”

 

They stayed at the Sky Arena for a little longer than they had planned, chatting about Steven and Connie’s abilities. Amethyst watched in amusement as Garnet sat the Maheswarans down for the whole fusion talk, explaining what happens and how, what it entails, and how it affects their daughter (it doesn’t, unless they are fused for too long). The looks on their faces were hilarious!

She was also relieved that Jasper was having a good time, giving Steven—and to a lesser extent Connie—some pointers and even talking a bit about the war in a way that didn’t stir bad vibes. Each bit of advice seemed to have a funny anecdote tied to it of one her unfortunate sisters having to learn the hard way. Amethyst knew that most of the gems that she talked about were probably dead now, so it was nice to see her remembering them fondly. The image of Jasper sitting cross-legged on the ground with Steven and Connie, joking and laughing, was something she had been dying to see. Amethyst almost felt like she was meeting Jasper for the first time, as if she were another gem entirely.

With Lapis so close in proximity, it was surprising that Jasper could even function. But Lapis was kept preoccupied with Peridot, listening to Garnet’s fusion lesson with a mildly uncomfortable look on her face.

“That sounds like it hurt!” Connie exclaimed.

Jasper chuckled. “I think the discipline she got afterwards hurt worse! Injectors aren’t easy to create, after all.”

“Yet you mutilated a bunch of them recently,” Steven interjected.

Jasper shrugged. “No one was using them.”

“Time to go!” Pearl called, as Garnet disappeared through the arch with the Maheswarans. It looked like they had had enough magic for one day.

It was no longer an issue of piling everyone on the warp at the same time, so they simply warped out as soon as they climbed on. With a human on either side, Garnet immediately warped back to the temple. Steven, Connie, and Greg went next, still chatting about the day’s events.

As Amethyst and Jasper were getting ready to leave with Pearl, Amethyst heard Lapis clear her throat from behind. Jasper flinched and audibly gasped beside her, caught unawares by the small blue gem, taking on a combative posture out of habit. This wasn’t going to end well. But it didn’t appear that Lapis was there to have the big talk yet.

“I heard that you agreed to help train Steven,” she stated awkwardly, clenching her fists at her sides. “I hope it’s a good experience.”

“I’m sorry!” Jasper blurted out dumbly, backing away from Lapis.

“What? Wait!” She cried, but Jasper wasn’t listening as she retreated briskly up the steps, chickening out.

“Not the time, Laz,” Amethyst called over her shoulder as she raced to catch up with Jasper. Pearl, who had was already at the warp pad waiting for them, raised her eyebrows in confusion, but shrugged as they warped home, leaving Lapis and Peridot behind. As they were traveling through the warp street, Amethyst didn’t know whether to console Jasper or laugh at her for her hasty retreat.

Instead she asked, “dude, what happened?”

“I panicked,” Jasper replied heatedly, crossing her arms defensively.

“Did Lapis try to talk to you?” Pearl asked curiously, figuring that only Lapis could inspire such a visceral reaction in Jasper.

“I’m such an idiot,” Jasper moaned, rubbing her face with her palms.

“What did you say you were sorry for?” Amethyst pressed.

Jasper wasn’t sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Screams into the void* I'm finally done! For reasons unknown, I had the hardest time writing this chapter, and it has completely changed from my original plan, but I think it turned out much better. I'll try not to take two whole weeks to write 1 chapter again. I'm hoping to finish this story up in the next month so I can move on to my next fic. Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

***Nearly two years ago***

 

Everything is too big, too bright, too much. Transports similar to her own shoot like bullets through veining, transparent tubes, traveling high above the ground. Swallowing a bout of nausea, she wills herself to peer through the window, gazing at the ground in the few seconds before they enter tunnel. The bottom is lost in shadow, overpowered by the monstrous, glowing city above.

Lapis looks away from the sickening view at the four guards who surround her: two statuesque Aventurines and two intimidatingly burly Citrines, both from Yellow Diamond’s court. Despite the endless interrogations, it seems that they are still hesitant to trust her.

She isn’t sure what she was thinking when she built a tower from the Earth’s ocean, or even when she flew from the planet’s atmosphere, intent on flying all the way to Homeworld. She didn’t seem to realize just how far her home truly was, and she was exhausted the moment she left the Crystal system. Just as she was considering giving up her pursuit and accepting her fate to float endlessly in space, a craft unlike anything she had ever witnessed came into view, catching her in their tractor beam.

The gems on the ship were Nephrites, evident by their green and black gems, but beyond that they were nearly unrecognizable. When she first laid her tired eyes on this crew, she was almost convinced that they were machines, with all the technology that adorned them. That isn’t even to mention the technology that surrounded her, especially when they fired up the warp drive; as accustomed as Lapis was to flying, these high speeds were a different matter. She feels dizzy just thinking of it.

“Where are you taking me?” Lapis asks, poking the Aventurine on her left in the thigh.

The Aventurine peeks through half-lidded eyes at the offending appendage, a frown creasing the corners of her mouth. “I am unauthorized to disclose that information,” she intones in a smooth, deep voice. A Citrine grunts in affirmation behind her.

 _They don’t know_ , Lapis thinks dismally, leaning forward as she rests her chin in her palms. How in the cosmos did she get herself in this mess?

After they finished with the interrogation, Lapis was stored in a holding area for an indeterminable amount of time, alone save for the guards posted outside a golden yellow light barrier. At one point, out of curiosity, Lapis pressed her fingertips against its surface, only to immediately reel back in pain. She feels her cheeks burn in embarrassment at the memory of the guards chuckling under their breath.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she was removed from the room by these four soldiers, already assigned to her first mission as a newly readmitted Homeworld citizen. What that is and why they refuse to give her freedom, she doesn’t know.

The tunnel comes to an end, slowing to a stop over a brightly lit, flat area outside the main city, obviously meant to be a huge landing pad of sorts. It’s full of all manner of strange spacecraft, and even stranger gems, some she can’t even identify beyond color. She has not time to stare, however, as her guards hurry her along briskly towards an unmistakably hand-shaped battleship, colored bright green.

Two gems wait to greet her outside the ship.

* * *

Jasper leans back against the hull, letting the warmth and subtle vibrations course through her back. With all the annoyance she has had to put up with since being assigned to aid in Peridot’s mission, she deserves the tiny luxury. Of course, to think that she deserves anything more than what she has is ungrateful at best and blasphemous at worst, so she doesn’t voice her sentiments.

Beside her, Peridot growls in irritation, flipping rapidly through file after file of recent offenses involving the wayward gems on Earth disrupting her mission. The voice of a Pearl plays faintly, declaring, “we are the Crystal Gems!” before the feed is flicked away. Another feed pops up, captured by a Red Eye looking down at an Earth beach, the great edifice marking the Crystal Gem’s base, glaring sternly up towards the sky. Commotion from below, the feed is engulfed in pink light, and then it goes black.

“Stars! Finally!” Peridot cries, gazing through her transparent finger screens at the approaching figures.

Jasper groans, leaning further back against the hull for a moment before pushing herself into an upright position, throwing up a begrudging diamond salute at the sight of higher-ranking soldiers. The Citrines snicker at the sight of her, while the Aventurines don’t spare her a second glance.

“Well if it isn’t Beta!” one of the Citrine’s mocks gruffly. “They’re promoting you from door duty?”

“Hush,” an Aventurine scolds, turning to Peridot. “Your informant, Peridot 5XG.” She steps away to reveal the Lapis Lazuli that they were expecting.

“What do you mean, ‘informant?’” Lapis asks, looking first at her guards, then to Peridot, and finally to Jasper, anger contorting her pretty face. “I’m not going back to Earth!” She spits, glaring back at Peridot hatefully.

“It is the will of the Diamonds,” Aventurine reminds her emphatically. A Citrine presses a wide palm against her shoulder, nudging her gently but firmly towards the ship. Lapis grumbles but complies, eyeing Peridot uneasily before hiding it behind a thick layer of indifference.

To Jasper’s surprise, the lithe, blue gem gravitates towards her, an air of something akin to familiarity about her as she eyes Peridot uneasily. This, however, is quickly masked by a thick layer of indifference. Jasper isn’t fooled; she knows what fear looks like. Focused on Lapis, she doesn’t notice the Citrine sidle up to her, leering in a way that Jasper has become well acquainted with. She leans against Jasper’s shoulder in mock-comradery, making Lapis recoil.

“So, Beta, how does it feel to finally go on a real mission?” She drawls.

Jasper bites her tongue, holding back whatever snarky remark may escape her mouth. Instead she smiles, holding the diamond salute higher like a barrier. “You must be mistaken,” she replies, bitingly sweet. “I’ve been a dependable and trustworthy soldier, faithfully devoted to the Authority, for nearly 5,000 years. Yellow Diamond has personally assigned me to multiple high-security missions, including this one.”

She grins wider as Citrine grunts, moving away from her angrily, unable to come up with a suitable retort. In all her time navigating the insidious ways of gem society, Jasper learned early on to be cleverer than her competition, as well as stronger. This Citrine wouldn’t last more than 5 minutes with her in the arena.

The soldiers begin to make their leave, wishing the group safe travels as is socially expected of them.

“You’re from Earth!” Lapis exclaims. The Citrines, still within earshot, bust out laughing, as Jasper glares down at the gem. It was almost like an accusation. “You’re from the Beta kindergarten, right?”

“None of your business,” Jasper mutters weakly, following after Peridot. An illuminated circle forms in front of the index finger of the ship, which solidifies into a bright green disk. As they board, she feels Lapis grip her forearm tightly for support, much to her irritation.

“I just ask because…you probably already know, but-“ she pauses, momentarily shocked by the round walls that form around them, creating a ball as it starts to move. Clearing her throat, she continues, “-I was one of the gems that helped cut out Beta. In fact, my form was dissipated by a Crystal Gem in one of the early raids, and I was picked up by a Homeworld soldier and…well, you know the rest. I heard details here and there about what happened there. What the Crystal Gems did, attacking a kindergarten…it’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”

Jasper doesn’t answer her, but she suddenly feels uncomfortable with their closeness. There are plenty of gems present on Homeworld that know intimate details of Beta’s plight, but none of them have offered any sort of condolence, nor did Jasper ever expect it.

 

***Present day***

 

“Jasper?”

She was pulled from her musings at the sound of Steven’s voice, feeling him lean against her knee. Since the demonstration a couple days ago, he was impossible to be rid of, even more so than before. She didn’t really mind, though, not as much as she would have before. She had fallen prey to his sweetness, but she didn’t have the energy to care.

Steven had been quietly building a sand castle beside her as she stared into the hypnotic tide, lost in thought. At this moment, however, he was peering up into her face, a worried expression on his face.

“What?” Jasper snapped, pressing an index finger to his forehead and pushing him away.

“You’re crying.” He reached up tentatively and brushed at her face, his hand coming away wet; she didn’t even notice. She shrugged, feigning indifference as she wiped them away, forcing a smile to appease him, not wanting to answer questions at the moment. Thankfully, Steven didn’t press the issue, instead settling on falling into her lap and hugging her around the middle tightly. For as small as he was, he was strong.

For a moment, the closeness was almost comforting, although she wasn’t quite sure what she was so sad about. Perhaps it was related to all that she lost, or rather all that she never had; either way, she appreciated the effort. He wasn’t bad, for a human.

Those good feelings, however, came to an abrupt end. Jasper could sense her even before the small blue dot appeared on the horizon, and she knew exactly why she was there.

Amethyst had told her about their compromise, and it was exactly a week since the promise was made. It seemed that she was eager to get this over with, while Jasper was determined to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible. She involuntarily wrapped her arms around Steven, squeezing him to her in agitation until he gasped for her to let him go.

Lapis Lazuli alighted on the beach, gazing at the scene in confusion.

“Hi, Steven…Jasper.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Um, Steven, I’m not sure if this is allowed or not but…”

“You want a moment?” Steven guessed.

Lapis sighed in relief, not having to say it out loud. “Yes, if you could.”

“Of course! But, wait until I go get someone to watch from the house,” Steven cautioned. “It’s not that we don’t trust you or anything, but better to be safe than sorry.”

Jasper felt the tension within her rise, if that was even possible, and as if the feeling couldn’t get any worse, she began to feel the corruption in her arm flare up again. No, she wasn’t going to do this again, especially not in front of Lapis. As discreetly as she could, she took a deep breath and willed her shoulders to migrate away from her ears.

Steven, still perched in her lap, moved to leave, standing up on his toes to give Jasper one final hug around the neck. “Good luck,” he whispered, “and if things aren’t going well, there’s no shame in just walking away. I can explain it to Lapis later, okay?”

 _Stars, I don’t deserve this_ , Jasper thought, stunned at how encouraging his words really were.

There was still a small part of her that believed that it was simply Rose’s old charms showing through the child’s personality, but she chose to ignore those suspicions. It didn’t matter anymore. Unable to express her appreciation verbally, she hugged him back more gently than before, trying to ignore what Lapis would think of the display.

Climbing over Jasper’s shin, he went to hug Lapis as well, before speeding off towards the house in search of a chaperone.

It was just the two of them, on the very spot where the madness started, waiting awkwardly.

“It’s been awhile,” Lapis stated neutrally, avoiding eye contact. “You seem different.”

“Right, I wasn’t corrupted when I followed you out to sea, and now I am,” Jasper clarified, more negatively than she had wanted to start with.

“I meant that you look happier,” Lapis replied patiently. “Well, more content at least. You’re getting along with Steven, too.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Jasper asked, as if Lapis had accused her of a crime. “He wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Lapis bit back a smile. “There’s Amethyst,” Lapis said, waving at the purple figure leaning against the railing at the house. Amethyst waved back, calling something that they couldn’t quite make out over the thundering waves. Finally, Lapis moved around to face Jasper, as Jasper made no attempt to turn in her direction, and sank to her knees.

“Look,” Lapis began firmly, “you know why I’m here.”

“Malachite,” Jasper affirmed wearily. Saying the name aloud pained her.

Lapis nodded. “Malachite.”

Jasper crossed her arms and looked away. “You’ve already made it pretty clear how you feel about her.”

“But you haven’t,” Lapis replied.

“You already know.”

“I want to hear it in your own words.”

“Why? We’re never going to fuse again, so it doesn’t matter!”

“It matters to me.” Lapis gazed at Jasper imploringly, leaning forward on her knees. “Please.”

She thought about it for a long moment, unwilling to answer. Still looking away, she replied, “I don’t know how I feel. When we first fused, I was only trying to escape, but then…I guess I was addicted to the feeling of fusion. Being stronger.”

“I was literally holding us down. What about that felt powerful?” Lapis asked incredulously.

“Finally coming out on top,” Jasper replied simply. “I think I even enjoyed the drowning, if only for the rush of overpowering you and getting to experience Malachite for just a second before you would pull me back under. It made me feel powerful.” She uncrossed her arms, suddenly uncomfortable with her vulnerability.

“But you are powerful,” Lapis insisted. “You’re so strong, and you’re one of the biggest unfused quartzes I’ve ever met. That must count for something!”

“Sure, I make a decent soldier,” Jasper sighed, “but nothing can change the fact that I came from Beta. No matter what I do, I came from the worst kindergarten on a planet full of traitors. Rose Quartz was made on Earth, over half of Prime defected to the Crystal Gems, and many of the gems from my kindergarten were shattered in the first raids. Some didn’t even exit their holes before they either crumbled to pieces or were shattered by the enemy. Beta made weak gems, except me. The Facet Nine Kindergarten Quartz that Could, that’s what they called me, because I was the best of the worst, the only good in a bad situation.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I’m starting to understand that,” Jasper mused, surprised that she meant it. “But what about you? I was the one that wanted to use you for your abilities. Why do you care?”

“It’s not about me, Jasper.” She gazed sadly at the large gem, conveying more sincerity than one apology could. “My trauma doesn’t disqualify yours. We’ve both been wronged by Homeworld, you have to understand that. And while I don’t like you and your attitude, I appreciate that you’re trying to do better.”

“It would be a lot harder if you didn’t keep that little green nuisance preoccupied, so there’s that,” Jasper joked.

Lapis chuckled, and for the first time ever, Lapis and Jasper fell into a companionable silence, watching the waves together. They were very much aware of each other’s presence, and uncomfortable with the closeness, but it was companionable nonetheless. It was a relief for the both of them, sharing the inner demons that no one else would understand.

Suddenly, those slim, cool fingers were pressed against Jasper’s forearm, and she became aware of the subtle burning of her skin.

“Wha- Jasper, what’s going on?” Lapis asked shakily, her voice edging on panic.

“Don’t.” Jasper ordered, pulling her arm away to examine it more closely. Indeed, there was the corruption plain and clear on her skin, an ugly mottling of seafoam green and her natural orange that just capped her shoulder. It had sprouted up time and again, whenever she thought about it too much, but this time was different. There were no spikes, no deformity in her light form, only the color. Lapis sat nearby, arm poised above where she had just touched as she watched the corruption grow and settle across her skin, thinly veiled horror evident on her face.

Finally, the burning stopped, but the corruption remained, sitting like a scar across her skin. Even the red that consumed her forearm was warped along the edges.

Something changed; Jasper could feel it, but she couldn’t place what it was. She had consciously had to keep the corruption at bay, but it was hardly a blip on her inner radar now, even as it sat clearly on her skin. She smiled in spite of the circumstances.

“Does it…hurt?” Lapis asked hesitantly, unnerved by Jasper’s positive reaction.

Jasper turned to lapis, feeling her smile grow more genuine, more accepting. “Not much. Not anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Jasper are still a long way from friends, but they've made strides in getting past Malachite. Jasper, in coming to terms with her feelings about herself, has been relinquished of the responsibility of controlling her corruption, on the condition that the scars remain. Although it isn't relevant in this story, Jasper is now able to safely fuse with other gems again, without any adverse effects to the fusee. The talk is very loosely based on a song that I was listening to the entire time I wrote it (Of Monsters and Men - Hunger) => https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n106Qo0D948&list=PLxgwDx2Duiv2TXyoE-d_Hy4Of2fjvsUlu&index=1


	15. Chapter 15

Garnet, of all gems, was the first to ask about what had transpired between Jasper and Lapis on the beach, the others being too nervous of Jasper’s changeable emotions to ask. Reluctantly, Jasper answered as best she could, barring the more uncomfortable details. Nobody asked about the corruption, for fear of making it worse, as if they were at risk of evoking an angry spirit. No one mentioned it and Jasper refused to acknowledge its presence. Besides, it didn’t seem to bother her.

Amethyst had managed to hold off for the entire day in favor of giving Jasper some space, but that endeavor was short-lived.

“Hey, Jasp?”

Jasper hummed in response, giving the bare minimum for an answer.

“Wanna chill in my room?” She tried.

She regarded her with tired eyes and shrugged, glancing over at Garnet for confirmation. Slowly, Garnet turned to face them and nodded once, giving them the okay, to which Amethyst gleefully complied. Grabbing Jasper by the hand, she trotted over to the temple entrance and opened her door with a slimy snap.

“G’night, Steven!” She cried, waving at him.

Steven pouted, disappointed that he couldn’t get in on talk time with Jasper and Amethyst, being an organic being in need of rest. As if to emphasize this, Pearl began to shoo him towards his loft, sneaking a curious glance at the two gems.

Once inside the room, Amethyst heard Jasper gasp in surprise. It was then that she realized that 1) Jasper had never seen her room, and 2) she had never seen this much human junk in one place, and so artfully stacked, at that. When she looked at Jasper’s face, however, it appeared that she was only partially impressed and partially confused, with a little bit of disgust mixed it.

“Why do you have all this crap?” Jasper asked, looking up at a particularly precarious pile, which stood about three times her height.

Amethyst blew a raspberry. “You’re starting to sound like Pearl, although she’d call it junk instead of crap.” She picked something up off the ground and placed it gently on the pile. “I don’t really know. Sentimental value, I guess, plus I just like living in human garbage.”

“I sure hope this doesn’t reflect your kindergarten,” Jasper joked.

“Nah, the only junk there is old injectors,” Amethyst replied. “And me, at one point. Hey! I like garbage because I _am_ garbage!”

“Don’t say that,” Jasper replied, growing serious.

“Ya know, it’s funny that you would have agreed with that at one point.”

“I would have shattered you at one point.”

For a moment, Amethyst was worried that she had just brought down the mood, that Jasper would be even less willing to talk, until she looked up at her companion.

Jasper was laughing, a loud and obnoxious laugh that made Amethyst grin, despite the morbidity of it. Truth be told, Amethyst didn’t like to think of their past history; it only made enjoying present Jasper difficult, but it did provide a nice point of comparison. It made it all the more meaningful that they weren’t at that point any more, that the large gem was changing and growing, a common side effect of finding a comfy medium on Earth.

“You have a weird sense of humor,” Amethyst chuckled.

Jasper passed a hand over her face, letting the giggles die down. “It’s not actually funny,” Jasper replied unconvincingly, “but, in Beta, we always used to laugh at our own possible demises, and each other’s. It was always easier to laugh in the face of danger instead of dread it.”

“Alright, alright,” Amethyst laughed, “but you know we aren’t here to talk about shattering. I really wanna know about the…” She pointed to Jasper’s arm. “Does that…bother you?”

“I can’t feel it at all,” Jasper assured, grimacing. “It just looks ugly.”

“You would know,” Amethyst joked, unable to help herself.

Jasper barked out a laugh. “Takes one to know one, runt.”

The joking and laughing continued well into the night, so unlike Jasper yet so appreciated by Amethyst. This was the kind of interaction she craved, that she just didn’t get with the others, as much as she loved them. They just didn’t have her self-depreciating sense of humor, but Jasper’s morbidity went along nicely. It made her wonder what it would have been like having other gems that thought the same way she did, joked about the same things, enjoyed doing the same stuff. Even though she wasn’t greatly acquainted with the gems of her kindergarten, she had to admit that she missed them.

She voiced as much to Jasper as they laid flat next to each other on the pile of pillows that Amethyst liked to hide in occasionally, growing bored with their own jokes. “Do you miss the other Jaspers from Beta? Oh, and Carnelian?”

“All the time,” Jasper admitted with a yawn, “and even more, now that I have the freedom to miss them.”

Amethyst sighed. “I really wish I could just teleport everyone here or something, bring them back to Earth somehow.”

“You would be hard-pressed trying to convince most of them to leave,” Jasper replied matter-of-factly. “They may be isolated, but they’ve still been loyal Homeworld soldiers for over 5000 years, some close to 6000. They may have done you a favor, but you would never be able to convince them to join the Crystal Gems.”

“Well, that wasn’t what I was suggesting,” Amethyst clarified. “You don’t have to be a Crystal Gem to live on Earth, although we’re always open to new members. But, I guess you’re right. Pearl and Garnet wouldn’t be too thrilled about close to a hundred former Homeworld soldiers living on Earth, anyways, especially when most of them are like me.” She turned to Jasper suddenly. “Do you wanna be a Crystal Gem? I’m just…I wasn’t sure, cause…”

“No.” Jasper replied, point-blank. “You’re all okay, but that doesn’t change what this group represents to me. I don’t want to be a part of it.”

Amethyst nodded in understanding, trying not to feel a little disappointed. Sometimes, she even wondered what exactly they were fighting for and what they fought for in the past. That was one of the reasons that she ran away to her kindergarten occasionally, to get away from them before these thoughts could manifest into something she couldn’t come back from.

“Are you still loyal to Homeworld?” Amethyst asked.

Jasper exhaled gustily, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t think so, after all the lies and torture. And I really do hate Yellow Diamond, more than ever.”

“So…you aren’t loyal to anyone?”

“I’m loyal to Beta,” she replied gruffly, “and the gems that were made there, even the ones that were shattered and the ones that didn’t make it out of their holes. And I’m loyal to my Diamond’s memory.” Seeming to sense the dissatisfaction coming from Amethyst, she added, “I like you and Steven a lot. I’m alright with Pearl and Garnet. I can tolerate Peridot. Lapis…I’d rather stay away from her, but she’s okay, too. I think what I really need is to learn to be loyal to myself for a change.”

 

The weeks following the talk passed surprisingly without incident. Jasper was happier, more open, and helpful, if a little mean or cruel at times. The others reprimanded her for it, but they soon had to accept that meanness was just a part of her personality, and it should be taken in stride. It was just like Amethyst’s coarseness, Pearl’s destructive issues with self-worth, Garnet’s distant nature, Lapis’ abhorrence being forced to do things, and Peridot’s attitude. Even at times when Peridot or Lapis visited (after being remarkably scarce), she wasn’t too bothered by their presence. And she got along with Lion swimmingly.

Since the demonstration, she had been assisting with Steven’s training alongside Pearl every week. She was less a teacher and more of a teaching aid, telling him to adjust his stance, use dual or triple shields as opposed to one, block and attack at the same time, and always be aware of the battle around you with the same clarity as the one immediately before you. It was all similar to what Pearl had been saying the whole time, but it was the way she said it that rubbed Steven the wrong way. While he was careful around her previously, she became the gem that he gave the most attitude to.

After another failed attempt at blocking two attacks at once while still taking out a third hologram from behind, Steven fell back on his butt.

“Come on!” Jasper shouted. “You call that blocking?!”

“Patience, Jasper,” Pearl reminded her, removing the holograms in a clatter of swords. “I’ve told you time and again that Steven is a fast learner, he just needs a little _encouragement_.”

Jasper huffed, grabbing Steven by the collar of his shirt and hoisting him up to his feet.

“I don’t eyes all around my head!” Steven snapped, as if Pearl hadn’t intervened, batting Jasper’s hand away.

Jasper growled in frustration. “It’s not just about seeing the fight! It’s about feeling it, sensing it!” Then, finally taking a bit of Pearl’s advice to heart, she continued, “You’re a quartz! You’re strong like one, you think like one, and you fight like one. Quartzes have heightened tracking abilities, so you should be able to do that, too!”

“Well, that’s a bit of flawed logic,” Pearl replied slyly, “Steven isn’t a _full_ gem, so he may not be able to do this after all.”

“I _can_ do it, just watch me!” Steven cried angrily, glaring at Jasper as if she was the one trying to use reverse psychology on him.

He fell into a perfect fighting position, fists up and arms thrust into position. Jasper made a gesture to Pearl, indicating that she create a surprise attack from behind, where Steven was the most vulnerable. With an exasperated sigh, Pearl complied, formulating the sneak attack as Connie watched anxiously.

“Hya!” He cried, spinning around to fling his shield at the closest enemy while manifesting two shields at his sides as two other enemies charged past the first. A third enemy came out of nowhere, but he was ready, whipping out a third shield to meet her blade. Beginning to look like a pink, heavily armored tortoise, Steven gathered himself into a tight ball.

He smirked the excited noise that Jasper made, faintly heard over the sound of scraping metal. Finally, he rocketed up into the air, flinging the holograms back as if they were nothing as he flew about twenty feet in the air. Before the midpoint, however, he began to lose control of the ascent as he spun rapidly into the sky. There was a moment where he was suspended in the air, looking up at the blinding sun, and then he was spinning back towards the arena, with the enemies pointing their swords towards him from down below.

Thinking quickly, he manifested three shields and spun into them like a ring, intending to use them later to fight instead of hiding in his bubble. In the midst of the havoc around him, he heard Jasper yell “slow down!!!” but it was too late.

He felt the enemies collapse underneath him, followed by the ground beneath them. As he felt the cold, drafty air from the dilapidated guts of the arena touch his friction-heated skin, a strong arm scooped him from the air and pulled him to safety.

Steven’s body stopped spinning, but his mind was still swimming.

“Not bad for your first time,” he heard Jasper laugh, holding him while his head caught up with the rest of him, “but it’s not very useful if you can’t control it.”

“Got ‘em, din I?” Steven mumbled irritably, pushing her face away.

“You sure did,” Jasper replied, placing him on the ground.

“We’re going to have to find a new place to train at this rate!” Pearl cried, throwing her hands at the wreckage garnered over the past several months. “It’s a wonder that this place hasn’t collapsed around us, what with all this structural damage!”

“With that logic, it should have fallen apart thousands of years ago,” Jasper added, making Pearl glare at her ruefully.

Meanwhile, Connie was helping Steven to his feet, gushing about how cool that looked and fretting about his equilibrium, whatever that was. As his vision began to refocus, he gave her a goofy grin. “I’m fine, Connie, really!” He assured, as his smile dropped a bit, “but I didn’t do the thing right.”

Jasper sighed, moving over to pat his head awkwardly. “There isn’t just one way of fighting. I just gave you some options to choose from that you should know, being a quartz and all.”

Steven looked up at her in slight confusion. “Gave? Are you not gonna teach me anymore? You just started!”

There was something odd in Jasper’s eyes, a mixture of tiredness and confusion; over what, he wasn’t sure. This wasn’t the time to pry, however, as she smiled a little at him.

“As much as I don’t wanna admit it, you definitely have talent.” She crouched down to his level, showing a moment of tenderness that was completely unlike her. “You just try too hard. You need to do what feels natural to the best of your ability; that’s all I wanted to show you.”

Steven felt like he was going to tear up. This was probably the nicest thing Jasper had ever said to him, in the nicest tone she’d ever used. He threw his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Jasper patted his back three times, making an uncomfortable noise before pushing him away.

“So…you don’t need me to help you anymore,” she concluded, standing.

Pearl approached her in concern. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s _wrong_ ,” Jasper insisted. “He doesn’t need my assistance, that’s all. He’s trying too hard for my sake, and it’s hindering him. I only took this on as something to do, but I don’t want to mess up your training at all.”

“But what are you gonna do now?” Steven asked.

Jasper rubbed her face, the confusion and exhaustion growing a fraction. “I’ll think about it,” she replied, obviously unsure of where to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're past the climax of the story, and it's finally winding down to the conclusion. As much as I love writing this story, I really want to move on to a new one, specifically the story I mentioned in the notes a few chapters ago. I'm really looking forward to really exploring the Betas and the Famethyst in-depth at the zoo! The next chapter will be the last one. Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

The future was an erratic mess of extremes with very little in-between, at least in Jasper’s case. Garnet tried to distance herself from the quartz, keeping her from influencing her visions—they tended to be a little biased, depending on Garnet’s concerns involving the subject—but she simply could not find a solid, definite path.

She hesitated to suggest releasing Jasper, despite the fact that she had made tremendous improvement over the weeks, for fear of bringing about the extreme futures that would be her ultimate downfall. In a few particularly bad futures, she reverts back to her old ways, as dangerous and self-destructive as ever, bringing harm not only to herself, but to the others as well. This was not a risk she was willing to take. And the comparatively “good” futures were not much better, ending in her shattering or re-corruption.

The best outcome, in the foreseeable future, would come about as long as they kept a close eye on her.

Her component parts had been going back and forth about the matter for quite some time. Ruby remained distrustful of her, with definitive knowledge of the nature of quartz soldiers and especially the steadfastness of Jaspers. They were as stubborn and thick-headed as they were loyal, at least that was the case with all the Jaspers that she had encountered. Sapphire looked at the situation more objectively, taking into account the subtle changes in Jasper’s behavior and applying that knowledge to her visions, to very little avail. Over the millennia, she found that everyone had at least one future where they change for the better—even the most abrasive of beings—but every good future for Jasper was not easily bought.

When she had her heart-to-heart with Lapis, however, all of that changed. The “best future” that Garnet had predicted had already come to pass, and all the subsequent paths that sprouted from it were much more promising. While there was always the chance of Jasper relapsing, it was far less likely that it would actually lead to harm.

That was the reason she brought Jasper, suspicious glare and all, into the burning room for a little chat about her future.

“Jasper, you don’t need to look at me like that,” Garnet chuckled, “we’re not enemies anymore.”

Jasper’s frown deepened beneath hardened eyes, her stubbornness making itself known.

“I just want to talk to you,” Garnet pressed, slipping off her shades as a sign of good will, smiling apologetically. “It’s good, I promise.”

Her scowl let up a bit. “What is it? Why do we have to talk in here?”

“I don’t want the others to influence your judgement,” Garnet replied, moving a little closer. She ventured to put a hand on her shoulder, and thankfully Jasper didn’t pull away. “You’ve proven yourself to be quite a bit of trouble, but you’ve grown significantly over the last few weeks.”

Jasper nodded self-consciously.

“And you say that your corruption isn’t bothering you.”

“It isn’t,” Jasper confirmed, beginning to see where the conversation was headed.

“And you’ve broken off ties with Lapis, yes?”

“Yes.”

Garnet grinned up at Jasper. “Then you are free to go.”

She looked confused for a moment, as if she wasn’t sure what she was hearing. “Go where?”

“Anywhere, or nowhere,” Garnet replied enigmatically, “on Earth, at least.” Then in a more light-hearted tone, she continued, “You just can’t stay in Steven’s room anymore; you’re much too large for such a small space. You can stay in the temple, if you like.” As Jasper made to argue, Garnet clarified, “I mean, I’m sure Amethyst would love to have you as a roommate, but you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. This is why I brought you here instead of telling you in front of everyone. This is your decision and yours alone, but I need to know what it is-“

“So, you can keep tabs on me?” Jasper finished, looking a little offended.

“So, we don’t lose touch,” Garnet replied sincerely. “There are very few gems on Earth, and I know Steven and Amethyst would be upset that you disappeared without a trace.”

This calmed Jasper down quite a bit, as she seemed to mull over Garnet’s proposition in her head. Garnet tried to refrain from using her future vision this time, as it was rude and doing so without her visor would make it extremely obvious, as well as kill Jasper’s trust. Instead, she focused on the light of inspiration that was taking hold in Jasper’s eyes.

“I…I think I need to be alone for a while,” Jasper finally replied, looking away and crossing her arms, defensive gestures. “Everything is going well, but it’s all too much. I don’t deserve…this, all of this. I don’t deserve Amethyst or Steven. I don’t deserve your kindness.”

Garnet sighed, feeling as if they were back to square one. She grasped Jasper’s shoulder more firmly. “No. If you didn’t deserve the good things that have happened to you, then you wouldn’t have gotten them.”

“Really?” Jasper shot back darkly, “Because that’s not how I remember it.”

Garnet, of course, knew that she was referencing the raids at the Beta kindergarten, where young gems who had done nothing but exist were mercilessly attacked and shattered by Crystal Gems. If they were unworthy of their kindness, then why should she, a gem who had committed countless atrocities in the name of Pink Diamond and Homeworld, be held to a higher standard.

“Things are different, now,” Garnet replied carefully. “Amethyst _cares_ about you, because she can see past the things you’ve done to her. Steven _loves_ you because you are not the same gem you were months ago. We all know that you are capable of and willing to change.” _That is something Rose would have greatly admired,_ Garnet added in her head, figuring that mention of Rose wasn’t the best course of action in this scenario.

“I need time to think. I want to go to Beta, and I want to be alone.” Jasper stated forcefully, but not uncaring. “I need to make peace with myself, before I can even start to make peace with…all of this.” She gestured widely, to the bubbles, the burning room, the temple, the situation as a whole.

“I understand,” Garnet replied, replacing her shades. “Right through there, if you can fit.” She pointed up to the glimmering puddle of water remaining impossibly stationary on the ceiling.

“What?” Jasper asked, looking even more confused.

“I know you’ll want to take to Amethyst about this,” Garnet answered with a smile. “Her room is right through there.”

Just as Garnet was about to go about her business in an effort to leave the conversation on a positive note, she heard Jasper clear her throat. Turning back, she found Jasper fidgeting with her hair self-consciously.

“Garnet,” she began, trying hard to maintain eye contact. “Th-thank you for…you know.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Garnet replied sadly. “We all have our reasons for being the way we are. We’ve all done bad things, and we’ve had unjustifiably bad things done to us. Everybody deserves a chance to make things right.”

* * *

Jasper left early the next morning, unsure of what to do with her newfound freedom.

She was subjected to unwanted attention from Steven, as well as Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst. Yet, she couldn’t say that she disliked the affection, as she was about to find her lacking in social interaction once more, alone with her thoughts and the empty holes of her fallen sisters.

“You ready, sis’?” Amethyst asked her quietly, tugging on her hand.

She looked down at the small, purple gem in surprise, unfamiliar with the term but oddly endeared by it. “What was that?”

“You ready?” Amethyst asked again, gesturing towards the warp pad.

“No! I mean, yes, I’m ready. But what did you mean by ‘sis’?” She asked in a rush.

Amethyst smiled apologetically. “It’s short for ‘sister,’ because we’re both quartzes from Earth, and I like you. Is…is that okay?”

“I…um, sure, that’s…that’s fine,” Jasper replied, unsure of how else to respond.

Sister. That was a word that she was familiar with, a term that she didn’t think she would ever be addressed as again. It made her incredibly flustered to know that someone cared about her enough to address her as something so personal. She knew that Amethyst had very little interaction with her kindergarten mates, and none of the experience of living among them, in the confines of the cliffs that birthed them. To be addressed as one of Amethyst’s sisters…she tried to push down her pesky sentimentality before she got carried away.

“I’ll see you in a while…sis’,” she finished, kneeling down to hug her as a sign of appreciation. She didn’t think she would be able to fully express what Amethyst’s constant support has meant to her in her healing, but this would have to do for now. Perhaps she would figure this out along the way.

Amethyst snorted at her awkwardness, hugging her back tightly. “Later, ‘gator.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she laughed. “Good luck.” Then, pulling away from her a bit, she added sternly, “Now, don’t go fusing with any corrupted gems!”

Jasper rolled her eyes, squeezing Amethyst one more time for good measure. At the sight of a mushy embrace, Steven had to get a bit of the action for himself, so he wormed his way between Amethyst and Jasper to hug her around the waist.

“What if I need help with training?” He whined, digging his fingers into her uniform stubbornly. “Then I’ll be subpar until you come back, and by then I would have forgotten everything you taught me and—“

“You did good without me,” Jasper chuckled, prying his hands off of her, “and you’ll continue to do great. Honestly, the stuff you could work on is stuff that Amethyst could teach you. And if she’s too dumb to teach you—“ Amethyst punched her in the arm playfully. “—you know where to find me.”

Steven, still pouting, nodded his head in understanding, bursting into giggles as Amethyst ruffled his hair affectionately. Suddenly realizing that Garnet and Pearl were there as well, she glanced back at the two, who were watching the display in amusement. Jasper decided that she didn’t care.

Standing to leave, she politely nodded to Garnet and shook the hand that Pearl offered, exchanging goodbyes. She mounted the warp pad with that small, nagging feeling that she was going to be reprimanded at any moment, but knowing that this was the most freedom she had ever been given.

“Hey, Jasper!” Amethyst called, just as the warp activated. “Tell Mama Earth I said hi!”

Jasper didn’t have time to come up with a clever response, nor did she want to warp back just to finish a joke, but she smirked all the same.

The concept of “mother” was vastly different among gems as it was among organic beings, like humans. “Mother” was an informal name for a gem of authority that stood below the diamonds, used interchangeably with the word “matriarch.” There was no emotional or physical connection to the word, as gems weren’t designed to bear gem offspring. Jasper hardly knew what a human mother was like, and as far as she was concerned, Steven’s mother was a murderer.

She did, however, feel something stir within her when Beta came into view, beautiful in its own right as the morning sun began to peak over its sheer cliffs. It was the place where she emerged, the place that had kept her and her sisters marginally safe, the place that she loved despite the shame she had to face because of it. If Prime was like a “mother” to Amethyst, then perhaps she could view Beta in the same light.

She wasn’t alone, atoning for her sins and the sins of gemkind and coming to terms with the situation she had found herself in. She was home, in the place where her life began.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! While I've enjoyed writing this fic, I'm so glad to finally be done with it, after starting it back in March. I'll be starting my next fic, centered around the Earth gems at the zoo this time, in the next week or so. It's definitely going to be more relaxed than this one (after the first extremely depressing chapter, that is), so expect plenty of quartz-y fluff in the future! I also intend on writing a short fic (4 or 5 chapters, probably) about Jasper's antics in the Beta Kindergarten, but I really need a break from talking about Jasper for now. Again, thank you for reading and for your kind comments!
> 
> PS: Sorry for the extreme lack of Garnet and Pearl in this fic. My mind can only focus on so many gems at a time and it seems that they were the characters that kind of fell to the wayside at times. I wish I could do more than two fics at a time, otherwise I'd write a special story for all of the gems in the show!


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